Never ever dwell on your well beings of who you are as a person, because it will destroy you. You are so much more than the beauty's eye of enough.
There comes a point in time when you push all your faults on yourself when, all the wrong doings are not just you. Because it takes two in a relationship. Not just one to blame.
But when you cry? Who is there the most? It is always going to be yourself. Because at the end of the day, it was never them. They made your feelings and emotions feel so much of a hastle to even speak about your day.
When it came down to it, their manipulations controlled who you thought you had to be in order to be with them. You changed your state of mind, and your well beings of friends. Not only pushing people away but pushing your self worth away too.
Their actions are always going to be your fault. Even when they were allowed to do the things you were not. You have made yourself believe that you had to change, to do anything in their power for them to love you. But did they? You loved deeper than your wounds could ever bare, and that was never enough to prove. Your soul would go to the end of the earth for this person, but would not do the same for you would they? The only thing they loved was using you. The one thing you wanted was to love them, to grow a relationship but one sided love never works out.
You cannot let your mind listen to them. Your sensitive soul thinks too much about "what ifs" rather than pulling away and thinking about what can be.
And when times seem to get a little tough.. you apologize for no real reason when you have not done nothing wrong. Stop. Own up to who you are. And what you have done. Do not only blame yourself for it to "all just go away." It will still be there deep in your mind. All their actions playing through little by little. Until you burst and they cannot handle you. Were they able to from the beginning? Or was it just a mind game?
When everything could be going amazing, you think something could be wrong. Or that you could mess it up. Because of them, they have played mind games from the start. And now, you have lost your self worth and who you are.
But let me tell you something. YOU as a person need to find yourself, and who you are. Never let anybody drag you down. Know your worth before anything. Your health is so much more important than them. Focusing on them, and thinking about what their doing through their day is not going to ever help you. Yourself and your happiness is what makes you, You. You were for sure put through something to come our way stronger and on top. Keep moving forward. You have to be the strongest fighter ever. Push yourself out of the bed and force yourself up even when you do not want to.
