In most social settings there are two roles that people can fit into. The first role is the magnet and the second role is the metal. To translate this into more relatable terms, in every group of friends you have the leader and the followers or the boss and the workers. The role of the followers/workers is to follow and please the leader/boss. We have all found ourselves in situations where we mindlessly follow a person around or revolve our plans around them. For example, you have plans to go out with some friends when suddenly the leader of the group cancels. Once this cancellation happens there is a strong possibility that the remainder of that group will cancel their plans as well. Why is this? How can one person can have that much power over a group of people?

If you’re guessing which category the real man falls into, I’ll be happy to tell you that he falls into the category of a boss/leader. He commands the respect of his peers, which is why they look up to him. This respect he garners is not due to money, good looks, or ethnicity, instead the respect he gains is based off his actions and the way he carries himself. The real man is in essence a lone wolf; not because he doesn’t have friends, but because he doesn’t care about being included or being a part of the in crowd.

The first step in becoming a lone wolf is to stay true to yourself. The “popular” opinion is one of the most dangerous things to ever exist because it brainwashes people to do things not because they want to, but because they feel like they have to in order to be relevant. This need to be relevant causes people to do actions in order to receive validation or attention. Actions such as these are not socially attractive and lead to people looking down to you. They see you as someone who exists solely to entertain them, or worse, they look at you as someone who makes their social value seem higher than what it actually is. Often times when you portray such behavior your social circle will turn on you and make you the butt of every joke. When you perform validation seeking actions you are indirectly implying that you do not feel good enough to be in the group and thus make yourself an easy target. You are playing the victim role and in society people treat you how you portray yourself, so if you come off as a victim then you get treated like a victim.

Now, earlier in this article I mentioned that in order to become a lone wolf one must stay true to their self; in order to stay true to yourself you must become slightly selfish. Just like a lone wolf you act on your own accord not worrying about the opinion or actions of others. You do what you want, when you want it, and how you want it, without the inhibitions of trying to please people. You put your happiness and wellbeing first, instead of allowing yourself to be miserable trying to please someone else. Becoming a lone wolf is a very liberating experience, as you inherit a new freedom, you begin to live the life you’ve always wanted to live, without having to worry about the chains of judgment holding you back. With all that being said, a lone wolf isn’t really alone. As you begin to live YOUR life, you will start to become a magnet, attracting people who want to be around you.