The Man-Child is indeed alive and well, ladies and gentleman. I know what you’re thinking: “this bitch is tripping once again, making up mythical creatures.” Alas, the man-child roams the earth; college campuses, big cities, frat basements, and all parts of this millennial world. Let me break this down into terms even a Man-Child could grasp.
The Man-Child is a boy ages 18-30 who is still heavily reliant on his mother or father, is financially supported, has a strong sense of confidence and self-worth, plays video games, slams cold brewskis, uses incredulous language, and thinks he has way more game than he actually does. The Man-Child is often well dressed in nice brands because he is materialistic and thinks people are impressed by his Giuseppe Zanotti shoes, when, indeed, no one cares.
The Man-Child can be seen attaining business degrees and thinking he will manage a hedge fund directly out of college, because what successful firm wants a 21-year-old dealing with that much money? Apparently the ones the Man-Children have dreamt up! The Man-Child expects to have a house in the Hamptons by the time he’s 30 along with a model for a wife. So basically the Man-Child has seen The Wolf Of Wall Street approximately 30 times and aspires to be Jordan Belfort. Know anyone like this? Yeah, me too.
The Man-Child expects things. Lots of things! He expects his mommy and daddy to buy him a nice car to impress his friends with and expects his Amex to be paid off every month. The Man-Child expects a killer internship just for existing and getting C’s at school. There is no limit to the entitlement the Man-Child feels!
When it comes to dating, the Man-Child is hopeless. The entitlement does not stop with material things; the same principles apply to dating and women. The Man-Child is a seemingly great boyfriend. He pays for everything with the same credit card his daddy pays off for him, and is always being social with his arm candy. The Man-Child loves to show off and say lewd things to make the girls snicker like our reality is some sort of Outsiders spin-off. His sex life is also probably great because women often fall for the immediate charm of the Man-Child but soon realize they're dealing with a different animal when he admits he doesn’t cry and is a self-proclaimed feminist (obviously to get into pants), but has no idea who Simone de Beauvoir is.
The Man-Child gets a great deal of satisfaction from being right, so make no mistake, you won’t win an argument with a Man-Child. Even if the Man-Child has no idea what you’re talking about, he will still win because his Fox News educated mind will clearly be smarter than your little lady brain.
Being macho and hard is the name of the game with the Man-Child. His idgaf attitude and treatment of others should be enough to deter any real woman, leaving the Man-Child to feel sorry for himself and blame others for what’s wrong with them, when indeed, the problem lies in the hands of the Man-Child.
