Can Men And Women Be "Just Friends"? | The Odyssey Online
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Can Men And Women Be "Just Friends"?

One person gets caught in the "Friend Zone" the relationship is doomed.

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Can Men And Women Be "Just Friends"?
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If you have not seen the movie "When Harry Met Sally" (1989) I would highly recommend renting it and watching because it is one of the best romantic comedies of all time.

Yet I'm not here to debate the status of whether When Harry Met Sally is a great romcom or not. The movie leads me into the discussion on whether men and women, both heterosexual, can they truely be friends? There is a famous scene in the movie that goes as:

Harry: You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.

Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.>
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.


This scene all my life has been a hot topic debated in my household, whether or not men and women can really be just friends. This came into a recent debate among female friends, where they were asked if they had male friendships that were the same as their female friendships? Additionally, did a male or female within the friendships have feelings towards one another? Have they had a romantic relationship previously with the current friend in question? As we sat there we had realized that all of our male friendships were tainted by feelings in the relationships or suspicions of a friends sexuality. We began to believe that heterosexual men and women may never be able to be friends because the sexual aspect nine times out of ten dooms the friendship. We thought even more into the issue and looked at our parents. Our parents did not have any friends of the opposite sex either because they had out their spouse. Mom's have they'll go golfing with occasionally, but none of them had friends of the opposite sex.
When Harry Met Sally may have been filmed almost thirty years ago, but their morals are still relevant today. Will our society ever evolve? When or are we ever going to be comfortable around men for them to become just our friends, without it being weird? Yes, obviously there are always exceptions to every situation but the societal normality of male and female friendships is still staggering. We are all aware of the dreaded "friend zone" but is it considered a true friendship if you are in a position where you are miserable? These questions are all still left unanswered, but that is food for thought.
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