If you’re anything like me, treadmills just don’t have much allure in your eyes, at least not the same allure as homemade chocolate chip cookies. And if you’re anything like the average college student, Netflix episodes are your cookies. Or at least they’re like your cookies. In the same mindless manner of wandering over to the kitchen and opening up the cookie tupperware, you find yourselves navigating over to Netflix a bit too often. Before you know it, two or three or four episodes have gone by, your cookie tupperware is empty, and you’re wondering where the time went.
I always wished time spent running on a treadmill flew by with this same mindless ease. So I had a brilliant idea: download the Netflix app on my phone. Screw Netflix and chill, the hot new thing is Netflix and treadmill!
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Sure enough though, not all shows and videos were created equal. Some are definitely more suitable to running than others. Here is a list of my tried and true, best and worst categories of gym entertainment:
1. Comedy shows
Great!
But nothing too funny, unless you’re feeling motivated and looking for an ab workout, too. The Office, New Girl, and Parks and Recreation fall into this wonderful category. They’re interesting enough to distract you a bit from the running pain, and short enough (22 mins) to fathom watching an entire episode without slowing down.
2. Anything kind of sad or emotional, such as sappy Disney shorts, documentaries like Hot Girls Wanted, and scenes of beautiful romantic gestures
Not suitable for the runner.
I don’t know about you, but I cry very easily. Even the song What Would You Do by Bastille gives me that emotional lump in my throat. And let me tell you: that lump plus running is BAD. Very, very bad. Wheezing is a common side effect, and it usually ends my run.
3. Academic videos, such as Kahn Academy or MIT OCW
BAD IDEA
Don’t get me wrong; MIT OpenCourseWare is amazing. I owe MIT’s Professor Denis Auroux a big thank you for getting me through calc. But I know what you’re thinking: treadmill + lecture = the beacon of productivity. Burning calories and learning! I thought the same thing, until I tried running to multivarible calculus lectures. It was so miserable. I’m saving these ones for the elliptical, at least until I get back into cross-country shape.
4. Youtube videos
Generally long ones are good, short ones are bad, only because it gets annoying to have to reach out mid-stride to click a new video every 30-45 seconds. Save the shorts ones like Wild n' Out rap battles or BuzzFeed videos for activities where your arms are less involved.
5. Reality cooking shows
Not commanding enough to distract, and a bit counterproductive.
I love shows like Cutthroat Kitchen and Cake Boss, but they don't seem to mix well with calorie burning.
6. Stand up comedy
Good, very good!
But only if you’re enjoying the comedy. A bad standup routine can make the miserable activity of running even more miserable. Louis CK is a good choice. He’s pretty much a guaranteed good run. As long as you don't mind looking a little crazy to your fellow gym-goers, stand up is a good choice.
Pandora has stand up which is great, especially because you get a lot of variety. But if you listen frequently, the sketches repeat and lose their distracting factor.
7. Poetry videos
For some reason, spoken word poetry just doesn’t feel right on a treadmill. Too miserable an audience for such a profound art form. Save these for when you're in the right atmosphere.
8. Action movies/ shows
Good at the actiony parts! Running feels very natural when you’re watching Sherlock evade Moriarty, but can be a frustrating activity at moments when all you want to do is focus on the action, figure out the murderer, or cling to your seat in suspense
9. Horror movies/ show
I don’t know, I haven’t tried, but scary stuff is probably great for an interval workout
10. Plain old pump up music
A classic, a winner. Running to your favorite upbeat song is always a good idea. Sometimes some good music is all you need to go to the extra mile.
Here ends my list of treadmill entertainment. Good luck running, Odyssey readers!
Whatever you do, don’t forget your headphones.
