Without a doubt, relationships in college are difficult due to the various obstacles and challenges that accompany this aspect of life; however, the difficulties intensify when distance becomes a prominent factor. Being a full-time student requires at least 12 hour credits, excluding the amount of time that is set aside for homework and studying. In addition to these hours designated for school, many students have part-time jobs.
Finally, some students choose to partake in extra-curricular activities and clubs such as Greek life, writing for Odyssey, or Student Government.
Even writing the above paragraph made me tired, which explains why relationships in college are so difficult. There seems to be no time! Being able to study together, hold hands, walk to classes together, and attend campus events together hold some couples together and allow them to manage their time wisely while maintaining a healthy personal relationship with one another.
Then, there are couples like my boyfriend and I. We attend different colleges, live in different cities, and are constantly 1.5 hours apart from one another. Of course, this distance presents obstacles for the two of us that many other early 20-year-olds in romantic relationships do not have to endure, yet, somehow, I believe that it enhances our feelings and allows for us to appreciate the moments that we are able to spend together.
To anyone who is currently in a long-distance relationship or considering engaging in one, here are a few tips and tricks to keep the flame burning and the passion alive, even when you are feeling alone and missing your partner.
1. Make time every day to check in with one another
The most important aspect of any relationship is communication. Communication is extra important when it comes to long distance relationships because, more days than not, communication via phone, text, email, and FaceTime/Skype replaces face-to-face interaction. Taking a minute or two out of the day to call or text your partner to ask how they are feeling, how their day is going, or what they ate for lunch will reassure your partner that you are constantly thinking about them throughout the day.
2. Plan date nights
Although there are some moments where spontaneity is hot and passionate, distance doesn't allow much room for surprises; therefore, planning date nights quickly becomes a must! Whether it is a thought-out picnic on the beach, fancy dinner date, or casual night of Netflix binge-watching, make the moments count. Planning time together will give you something to look forward to while you are apart. Being apart is not easy, but knowing you have something planned with your partner will allow you to get through those moments.
3. Pick up a hobby
Having "your own thing" allows for time to pass more quickly and diminishes the feeling of loneliness when you and your partner are apart. Personally, I paint, draw, and express myself and emotions artistically. It is important to find something that you love, besides your partner, and engage in time alone. This allows for you to better understand yourself, which is the first step in being able to understand another person.
4. Always be honest
Honesty is right up there with communication on the list of most important aspects of any relationship. If you can't be honest with one another, the relationship does not stand a chance, especially when distance heightens the stakes. Being far away from one another can create stress, anxiety, and worry about what the other individual is doing, where they are, and who they are with. Jealousy can over power easily when constant reassurance isn't available. Having long, honest talks to discuss boundaries, trust, and events occurring in the others day to day life will help to diminish the worried feelings. If the relationship is meant to work, trust will come; however, distance causes for work and understanding from both partners, it does not always come easy. That's okay.
5. Say "I love you," every single day
Saying I love you seems simple; however, the simplicity does not diminish the weight of these three words. Don't say this phrase until you are ready, but when you feel it, do not hide this emotion. Love is the most powerful thing in the world, and it deserves to be expressed. Whether it is puppy love, high school love, or the marriage-in-the-future love, it is always real. Love is complicated, tricky, frustrating, and overwhelming. Love is worth it. Long distance creates room for more complications, trickiness, frustration, and moments of overwhelming emotion; however, it's worth it.
Tell him.
Tell her.
You love who you love, don't let something small, like distance, break you. When you can' t say it in person, a phone-call, voicemail, or text message can still get your message across! Somehow, someway, tell them you love them. Every. Single. Day.
