College with a capital "C", where there's an entire campus to explore and 6,000 people to meet. I'm not exactly the type of person that tends to go out of their way to make new friends and meet new people, so my biggest fear was being alone, six hours away from everyone I'd ever known in my life, my home, my coworkers, my teachers, my family, my friends, my dog... But the people I've found along the way have been so supportive and challenged me to become better in the process. By no means has it been smooth sailing, and I didn't expect that, but I'm glad to have people beside me that will call me out and also build me up.
Here are some things I've learned along the way:
1. You don’t have to be fake with them.Â
Odds are, they're as weird and as messed up as you. Plus, there's no pressure to hang out with people you don't want to in college, you follow your own rules. If you don't like them, or they don't like you, then you don't have to be friends, simple as that.
2. You can spill your deepest secrets to them at 2 a.m.Â
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
Like your own personal therapists but they're unpaid!
3. You might feel disconnected from your friends back home.Â
I know for sure that I miss my friends back home like hell, and in some ways, I feel like we're all in different worlds now. But then I'll text them about something that's going on in my current days here and it's like we're all in the same room together again.
4. Focus on the now.Â
Live in the present. You're paying for an education, yes, but you're also paying for that sweet college experience that everyone talks about. Make it a good one. Don't always be going home on the weekends or calling your friends and family. Become an independent person.
5. There are plenty of people willing to make friends at Ithaca.Â
There's a catch: You have to actually go out of your way to try and find the people you want to hang out with. As an introvert, that's not exactly enjoyable to do but when I have pushed myself to go out of my way, I've met some pretty incredible people.
6. It’s okay to eat alone.Â
I know, shocking, but I never wanted to eat alone the first two weeks at college.
7. Friendship through Midnight Pie.Â
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Pretty self-explanatory. Sometimes you should just make a pie at 12 a.m. with three people you just met because you want to, and because you know it's going to be damn good no matter how small the apples are and how early you need to get up the next morning.
8. They will tell you like it is.Â
Sometimes blunt is best.
9. The Should-I-Mother-Them or They’re-A-Grown-Adult struggle.Â
I don't know if it's just me, but I'm constantly pulled between the "I care about you and don't want you to die" mode and the "leave them be they know how to take care of themselves" mode. Ultimately, just let people know that you're there, and if you're still really concerned, you can always talk to your R.A. But sometimes (maybe most times) you can't understand what they're going through or how they feel, so you're just going to have to let it go.
10. It’s okay to be alone.Â
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Because although you're alone sometimes, you don't have to be lonely. It's good to take time to yourself, away from people, it can be some of the best time you'll have in college.
11. It’s okay to tell them what you want.Â
For me, this applies to my dorm room. If you're just honest, whether it be about if you want the lights or music on or if you tell them you don't want to eat at Terraces because the walk is Too Far, they might be a bit judgmental, but you can do what you please.
12. You will argue.Â
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That's the tea, honey.
Everyone's experience is different.
This is an important one because I know I have it good. I know that I'm privileged with having friends who get me, a roommate I'm comfortable with, and the benefit of going to college with my friend from back home, so for every person feeling lonely, left out, or put down, know that you have a choice, one to choose whom you surround yourself with. It's only a month into college, there's still plenty of people to meet along the way. I'm glad I've got some good people to guide me through.
