Friendships are great. Best friendships are even better. Personally, I'm the kind that prefers only a few really close friends. But the question is, how to get them?
Never fear! This article provides the step-by-step answer to a lasting friendship.
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1. "Click" with someone
First, find someone with whom you can get along. Generally, this is someone who you have something in common with. Common thoughts include "Wow, they seem cool," or "I really like being around them."
2. Hang out with them
Spend some more time with this person. Often, this interaction will be with mutual friends or with other people, but that's okay! Start building a friendship by talking or interacting with them somehow. Talk about interests and things you have in common.
3. Feel like you're being too clingy
This step is generally inevitable, especially if you're going for a close friendship. You'd already like to be best friends, but you're worried you're trying to be around them too much, or that they're not interested in being friends with you.
4. Proceed to hang out with other people
So, to avoid being clingy, you start to spend more time with other people, just to prove to yourself that you're really not that dependent on their attention. Except you really are.
5. Talk about something deep late at night
It's been a couple of hours since a reasonable bedtime. The late hours of the evening prompt some deep conversations between the two of you. One minute you could be talking about schoolwork, and the next, contemplating religion and the meaning of life. You could recount some interesting life experiences that you've only told people really close to you. And just like that, a barrier is broken. You've officially been upgraded to "friends".
6. Do something just between the two of you
Watch their favorite movie? Go shopping together? Have a study session? The possibilities are endless. But once you guys spend time together, without other people to distract you, your friendship levels up.
7. Break the "texting barrier"
You might have this person's number, you might not - either way, there's still an invisible barrier that prevents you guys from texting initially. Once you've corresponded via text - perhaps for a group project or asking a question - this barrier is broken. Now there is the possibility for unlimited communication, starting with the mundane and leading into the quite random.
8. Lose the feelings of awkwardness and being clingy
Just admit it. They appreciate your company too. Once you figure this out, you don't feel like a bother anymore. You guys can be together in a blissful mutual agreement of friendship.
9. Start tagging them in social media
See something that reminds you of them? Tag. At first you'll feel bothersome, but over time it will be more like an impulse.
10. Appreciate your similarities
You two have so much in common. It's like you're the same person! You continue to bond over the things that both of you love.
11. Realize your differences
The longer you spend time with them, the more you figure out that no, you're not the same person. In fact, you're very different. It can start to feel like you're polar opposites. But the key here is to realize that your differences can actually complement each other and make your friendship more interesting. Even if they don't like sci-fi and Doctor Who is your whole life, it doesn't mean you guys can't get along. As long as you respect each others' tastes and differences, your friendship will continue to grow.
12. Share personal experiences
Dust off those old high school yearbooks, because it's story time. Tell them all about your life before them. Old crushes, your awkward middle school stage, the problems you have with your parents, that memory that always makes you happy...now is not the time for holding back. After this step, you should both know each other much better. You might even have evolved to "good friends" or "best friends" by this point.
13. Feel free to be yourselves
You're no longer trying to impress each other. You can be who you want to be, and they're totally OK with that. You start calling each other out on things, and that's OK too. You both appreciate the freedom to drop the act and hang out with someone who loves them for who they are.
14. End up being yourselves a little too much
So...maybe you guys exercise this freedom a little much. You're both super comfortable with each other, and this means no filters or inhibitions.
15. Make plans to see each other outside of normal interaction
At this point, it's only natural to hang out at each others' houses or spend a day in town together. And if you come away from these experiences closer, rather than getting tired of each other, you're on the right track.
16. Meet their parents
Of course, spending time with each other often dictates that you'll have to meet their family sooner or later. But over time, you might start to feel like a part of their family.
17. Establish yourselves in each others' space
You've both got things in each others' rooms. It might get to the point where you forget who has what where. You start to feel just as comfortable in their room as you do in yours. You begin sharing lots of things, too. Your food is their food. Their dog is your dog. "Whose shirt is this?" "Is this yours or mine?"
18. Tell each other your deepest, darkest secrets
We've all got at least a few things that we reserve for only a select few - or maybe we've just never told anyone. But when the opportunity comes, this will be one of the things that seals the deal for your friendship. Are they close enough to trust your secrets with? Do they trust you enough to tell you theirs? If so, you two will be almost inseparable.
19. Survive being separated
And here comes the ultimate friendship test: seeing if you two last after being apart for a long time. Whether this is just winter break, summer vacation, or even years: if you two come back together with just as strong a friendship, then you've got nothing to fear. This friendship is forever.
Obviously, every friendship is unique and different. Some steps may be out of order, bypassed, or omitted completely. Sometimes these steps can happen over the span of several years, and sometimes they can happen in only a month or two. Either way, there's nothing quite like a close friendship. If you go through all the steps and find yourself with one, cherish it. It's something special.
