Today, I'm wearing red lipstick (Maybelline's 24-Hr. Superstay in "Keep Up The Flame," if you're curious) and wing eyeliner (wet n wild). I bought these items the other day, and it was a bit of a guilty purchase. This was not just because my bank account looks like this:

There were two other factors contributing my purchase-related guilt, the first of which was that I usually try to look into the ethics of the companies I buy from, but haven't gotten around to researching my drugstore makeup companies. I know. I need to get it together.

The second source of guilt stemmed from something I think about a lot: Why do I wear makeup? Is it because, deep down, I think I'm ugly? Is it because I'm conditioned to think I have to?

Makeup has a long, dark history. Women have used poisonous products (and still do) causing themselves physical harm for the sake of meeting expectations of beauty set by their culture.

Many of us would probably like to think I'd never do something like this, myself included. Yet every morning, I make coffee, shuffle over to the bathroom mirror me and my two suitemates share, and lose sleep so that I can "put on my face." I smear on BB cream, draw on my eyebrows, and use concealer to cover up flaws I shouldn't be worried about.

No one should be worried about them! I believe in body positivity; I'm quick to hop into the debate if I hear someone mocking another person's appearance. I assure my sister and my friends that there's nothing wrong with their acne. As Lorde once said, "Flaws are okay." Some of my female friends don't shave their legs, and I'm actually pleasantly surprised by the fact that people we pass really don't seem to care, even if they notice.

People can express themselves how they want. My cis-het male friends should be free to wear makeup without feeling the shame our culture would try to put on them. Women who are CEO's shouldn't feel the need to wear makeup to be taken seriously. On the other hand, if they want to, they should go for it.

But sometimes I wonder about my own makeup habits, and I can't be the only one. Since I was 13, I've been paring down the routine to take up as little time as possible. I've found the foundations that work for my skin type, the mascara that most effectively coats my lashes, and the lipstick that makes my eyes pop. And I can't help but wonder if I don't do it as a form of self-expression, but because I feel lazy and sloppy if I don't.

I'm sure there's a whole body of literature on the subject I have yet to read (and I'll have to get to reading it once I've researched those drugstore brand and killed my growing "to-read" list).

As people are pressured to wear makeup from a young age, I believe this is a debate we'll all have to have within ourselves.