When you and your friends go off to college, it's weird that you're not spending every day together anymore. You're used to the high school life where you wake up and spend every hour together, hang out every weekend, and are constantly in touch with each other. You're so accustomed to the life where your best friend lives close to you. You know if you need your BFF they're just a quick drive away.
Then, you graduate and suddenly your friends aren't down the road anymore. Your friends are off at college hours away from you. You two swear that you'll stay in touch and meet for lunch every so often. You plan trips together and swear to FaceTime each other every day. But let's face the true reality... life gets in the way. You have a million assignments due, you're exhausted, and you have to worry about budgeting your money. You're a broke, busy, and incredibly overwhelmed college student. You feel like an awful friend because you forget to answer a Snapchat, or you see your friend making new friends and feel forgotten about.
Friendships drift a little bit during this transitional time in college. But if your friendship is truly meant to last forever, you will get through this time. Life gets in the way sometimes and that's just something we all have to accept. As we get older, we should be able to go days, weeks, maybe even a few months without talking sometimes. Is it ideal? No, but that's just how life works sometimes. We have to worry about ourselves and all the duties we have in front of us. You can't constantly worry about pleasing others when you're struggling to stay afloat. A true friend should understand that you have priorities and sometimes they get put on the back burner.
But at the end of the day, you know you can still text your friends and rant about the awful day you had. You don't always expect a reply ASAP, but you know your friend still cares about you even if they can't text you back right away. Friendships should allow personal growth. Sometimes you get caught up in your own world and forget to communicate. I know sometimes we feel so overwhelmed we are oblivious to what's going on in our friend's lives.
The important thing to remember is that we should pick up the phone every so often and just ask our friends how they've been, apologize for being busy, and pick up where you left off. College is tough. We are trying to navigate in a new place and make new friends with the people who we are now surrounded by. This doesn't mean we leave behind our old friends. It means we appreciate our friendships even more because you have history but are also building your futures alongside each other.
Friendships go through periods where we lack in communication. However, we can easily jump right back into how things were the last time we spoke. No awkwardness, no grudges... just a simple friendship. So next time you're having a bad week, don't feel guilty for not being in touch with your friends. They should understand. Focus on getting your life together and apologize later. Friendship should be filled with understanding, happiness, and kindness. If it's not, sometimes it's better to just cut ties if you're not gaining any positivity from that person anymore. College taught me that it's okay to outgrow some people in your life. Everyone matures and grows in their own way.
Sometimes this means that people branch out and away from you. Don't be filled with anger about this, just be happy for them and continue on with your life. This time period is tough for everyone and you shouldn't hold it against someone if they aren't being the best friend that they can be. They most likely already feel guilty and embarrassed about it. Just be supportive and understanding that sometimes your friendship doesn't come first anymore. That's okay! Just remember to occasionally check in with your friends, build each other up, and support one another. We're all doing the best we can in college, taking it week by week. We need friendships that can handle the ups and downs of life.
- The Truth About Maintaining Friendships As An Adult - xoNecole ›
- How To Keep And Maintain Friendships - Get The Friends You Want ›
- How to Maintain a Friendship - wikiHow ›
- 10 Ways to Make (and Keep) Friendships as an Adult | Psychology ... ›
- How to Maintain Friendships - The New York Times ›
- 5 Ways to Maintain Lifelong Friendships | Psychology Today ›