They say making friends is difficult. I say that’s the easy part. Keeping friends is what’s difficult. The months leading up to and after high school graduation drove me to the realization that many of the friends I made over the years would soon slip through my fingers as they moved away for college or as we stopped seeing each other everyday. This is a reality of life; friends come and go. I’ve kept in touch with those I care about and let go of those who weren’t benefitting me in any way. This process was a long and difficult one. I didn’t feel comfortable just cutting people off from one day to the next because I felt ugly doing it. Though it may seem harsh, there will be times throughout our lives when it's necessary to do so.
Keeping these friendships alive takes a lot of nurtering. Friends move away and money becomes more of an issue, making it difficult to make the trips to see each other. Busy schedules keep us from 2 hour long phone calls describing every detail from Friday night’s date. This back and forth becomes frustrating and can sometimes put a strain on the friendship. Both my best friends moved away for college so I rarely see them anymore when we were used to spending almost every moment together. At the beginning it’s always a lot easier to keep in touch and not let distance get in the way of things, but then we fall back into our routine without each other and everyone seems to drift off into their own day to day.
Maintaining a friendship requires effort from both ends; it’s a two-way street. Fortunately, I’ve had friends that have put in the effort to nurture the friendship and not let it fall. I’ve been blessed to have these kinds of people in my life and as a result of these friendships consider myself to be a great friend as well.
Through the friendships I’ve had over the short 20 years of my life, I’ve learned that there’s nothing a relationship needs more than honesty. Regardless of the nature of the relationship, whether it be romantic or simply friendly, honesty truly is the best policy. If someone talks to me about problems they may be having with their friends, the first question I always ask is “are you being honest with them?” I think honesty is the best foundation for a friendship because without it, what is the friendship founded on? If you find yourself feeling like a friendship of yours in on the rocks, the best thing to do is to talk it out. Friendships are worth fighting for, and as cheesy as that may sound, it is true.
