If I had a dollar for the amount of people that have made fun of how my boyfriend and I are only "young" and we, "don't understand what love really is," I would be rich. The amount of negativity that has been passed by us is unreal and it was well worth hearing and seeing for the memories that were able to be shared. We've made it last through the last almost five years on and off together and it's showed us how to find ourselves in different ways and go through some obstacles that not a lot of people would be strong enough to do.
To be in a lasting relationship it takes a lot of time and effort that people don't tend think to think about. You need to fight for the other person in all of the right ways, and they have to do the same for you. If they don't fight for you, then how can the relationship ever work? If one person in the relationship doesn't care, then how is that worth pursuing?
You have to know that who you're with is serious about staying with you in the long run and not just for a short amount of time. You need to understand that some people just want to be friends with benefits or just not serious yet. Some people take more time than others to realize that they really want to be in a relationship and that's okay if you both agree on it. Communicate with them and ask them if their needs meet yours and if not, I suggest to not waste your time.
Speaking of communication, you must hear this one a lot but communication is e v e r y t h i n g for a relationship (shocking, I know). If you're arguing with someone, it's nice to have some space after the argument, but if space for a long time turns into avoiding the problem then that's where another problem arises.
Know that when going into a relationship that it's okay to have space for a couple of hours or even a day, but when a day turns into days and days turn into weeks, that's when your ego starts to get in the way of the relationship. Work together with the other person during an argument. Don't just avoid them thinking that they'll come to you.
Think of their feelings. If they did the same to you, would you like to deal with that?
Know that it's okay for you and the one you're with to break up if things aren't working out. Getting together with my current boyfriend at 14 was tough for us but exciting because we both were two completely different people trying out something new and serious at such a young age.
Even though we broke up twice throughout the span of our relationship, both times helped us to discover that we really did miss each other and that we needed the time apart to discover things about ourselves that we didn't know, and it's okay for you to do it too! Just remember that keeping people's opinions out of your relationship helps as well and breaking up and then eventually getting back together is not toxic.
No, I'm not saying breaking up for all cases will make things better in the relationship, but chances are, it actually will help you discover, if you really are better off without this person in your life or not. It's okay to experiment with things and it's okay to not end up with the love of your life in your first couple of relationships. Life is really about meeting new people and discovering yourself.
Still being with my first and only boyfriend with has had its ups and downs, but it's been completely worth it. Being able to say that we've made it this far has been a big accomplishment after all of the negative that has come our way. Just know that no matter what happens, the right person will come at the right time for you and when they come you'll know it. No need to rush trying to settle, just try and enjoy life no matter what the consequence is and know that everything that happens, happens for a reason.
