NEW ROCHELLE, NY- Dr. Helen Fisher, Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, Member of the Center for Human Evolutionary Studies in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University, and Chief Scientific Advisor to Match.com, visited Iona College Oct. 4th to voice her knowledge regarding romantic love, happiness, and why we choose our partners.
Love is one of the most powerful motivators in our lives according to Fisher, which explains why she has dedicated her life’s work towards understanding the biological propulsions leading to romantic fulfillment. According to Fisher, romantic love is a universal drive. She explains there are no scientific findings uncovering a difference in passion between men and women in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Additionally, her findings showed no age limitation to romantic love; romantic love can occur at any age.
Fisher discussed her brain scanning work on the three brain systems and the theory of sex drive, romantic attraction, and attachment and how these elements have evolved specifically for mating and reproduction. She correlates each of the three-brain systems to a corresponding brain chemical. Serotonin, Dopamine, and Oxytocin are three she mentioned as directly associating with either biological and/or emotional responses in the human brain. By organizing partner selection into a system with corresponding brain chemicals, Fisher shows how we are able to figure out how and why we choose, love, and tolerate a specific lover. She explains that if and when we exhibit a balanced ratio of all three-brain systems, multiple involuntary traits are introduced further stimulating romantic feelings. Fisher wittily states that these involuntary traits make it feel like “someone is camping in your head.” Regressing to a biological standpoint, she clarifies that when “in love” brain activity lights up below the “thinking areas” defining romantic love as a drive.
As scientific advisor for Match.com, an online dating service used by millions of people in more than 25 countries, she uses her knowledge of the biological implications of romantic love to determine criteria for matching people together on the dating site. She utilizes her scientific findings on the temperament and biological predispositions of individuals to sort each person into one of four groups. Each of the four groups (Dopamine, Serotonin, Testosterone, Estrogen) consist of specific characteristics of a person's personality based on their culture (environment/experiences) and temperament (biology/predispositions). Once placed into a one of the four specific groups based on a validated questionnaire created from brain scans, a person is then linked with a person with personality characteristics that compliment theirs. Fisher believes that by organizing people by their style of thinking and behavior then matching them with a person who compliments their personality,a connection is created that encourages long-term partner happiness.
Our drive to love is attributed to countless factors. Our drive to love is tenacious, innate, and provokes a wide range of emotion. We are rejected in love and we reject love in order to reach the specific goal of finding a life-long partner. Our brain chemistry, our environment, and our personalities all influence why we ultimately choose to be with a certain person. According to Fisher, when we are able to suspend negative judgments and are able to express empathy towards our lover, we are on our way towards long-term happiness in a partnership. However, in the words of Dr. Fisher, it is important that when in romantic love we must not treat others the way we want to be treated rather, how they want to be treated.
