"And that's what happens when you're raised by pirates..."
"Wait, what?"
"I knew you weren't listening."
"No I was, I just tuned out halfway through what you were saying."
"Oh, and that makes it so much better." Sawyer said rolling her eyes. In my defense she had been talking for a while and I hadn't seen her getting to the point anytime soon, so I didn't think there would be a problem letting my mind wander.
"Listen Soy, we all know you have a lot to say and that at some point we'll hear the story again so give him a break," Jessyani said coming to my rescue. We never saw eye to eye, on anything, no matter how small it was, but I tried to be pleasant enough to Jessyani seeing as how she was Sawyers' best friend.
She was petite with brown hair styled in a bob, but cross her and you wouldn't think she was a four foot eight slip of a girl that barely reached my waist. Her persona entered the room before she did giving off an air of "don't mess with me or I'll mess you up," but not always in a threatening way, more of a vibe that she would be ready for anything. As small as she was I would hire her as a bodyguard anyday, not very useful as a human shield but she could handle her own.
Then on the other hand was Sawyer, her complete and total opposite. Sawyer was five feet ten inches. When they went out it was comical, Sawyer wearing flats and Jessyani wearing her highest heels reaching an impressive height of five foot one. Sawyer also had hair cropped close to her head that she dyed a burgundy color she saw and wanted on a whim. It fit her.
And then there was me: Marty. Regular geek who had the luck of the gods shine down on him. I wasn't anything special, I made consistent C's in high school, nearly flunked my way out of college and found a job by the skin of my teeth. You could say I was fortunate, I thought so. I got to spend all my free time with the love of my life and her annoying best friend. I was fortunate for everything but the last part, of course.
I took a deep breath, exhaling and closing my eyes. "Babe, you know I love to hear about your day."
"But you don't act like it sometimes," Sawyer said with a whine. I love Sawyer, I really do, but it irritated me to no end when she whined. How do you tell your girlfriend that without offending her?
The short answer is you don't, you just sucked it up because "you're a man."
So that's what I did and I continued to do that every time Sawyer would go off on one of her tangents and then expect me to apologize for not "listening to me and being distracted." Well that's what I had been doing until I couldn't take it anymore and ended our three year relationship. At a certain point in life a guy has to put his foot down and my time had come.
About two weeks after breaking up with Sawyer I was at a night club that Sawyer, Jessyani and I would visit often, when I spotted Jessyani making her way to where I was sitting at the bar. I was sitting across from the dance floor drinking my piña colada. No, I'm not ashamed to admit it. Yes, I do like getting caught in the rain.
I pretended like I didn't see her and continued to drink my fruity deliciousness. She came right up to me and tapped me on the shoulder, I looked to my right above her heard just to irriate her and I felt her sharp heel dig into my toe.
Note to self: no short jokes.
When I looked down at her I could tell that she was in a mood, but I couldn't tell if she would reem me out for dumping her friend or punch me in the face. As long as I could finish my drink first either one would be fine with me.
"You're such a jerk!" She yelled at me after sitting on the now vacant stool next to me.
"What did I do now?" I asked turning my head toward her and then immediately looking back to the dance floor.
"Wow, are you serious?"
"Judging from that judgemental tone you're talking about me breaking up with Sawyer."
"Yeah, how could you break her heart like that?!" Jessyani punched me on the shoulder and I tried to keep my face neutral but it actually hurt. I rubbed at the spot and saw her snicker.
"You love to torture me don't you?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Some people woud call what we have foreplay,"' Jessyani said licking her lips. My eyes widened.
What.
What was going on here?
Before I could think of anything to say to her brazen remark she took my drink out of my hand setting it asside. Then she spun my stool toward her and planted a life changing kiss on my lips.
I say life changing because as soon as I started getting into it – hey, I'm a guy – I felt my body being pulled back, neck being tossed around by the force of the unexpected motion.
"Hey!" I shouted in protest, opening my eyes and seeing the pain filled beautiful brown eyes with specks of gold I had come to love over the last three years.
"I can't believe you would kiss my best friend!" In the blink of an eye I was slapped across the cheek. "And I can't believe you would kiss my boyfriend behind my back! You are so dead to me." The last sentence was spoken quietly, but with so much emotion I knew that Sawyer meant it. "You two disgust me, and deserve each other."
Sawyer turned around and started walking away, almost disappearing into the crowd before my brain fully registered what had happened. It all seemed like a whirl wind. I turned to look at Jessyani looking like she regretted what had happened but then the moment passed.
"Now that we're both on the outs with Sawyer my offer still stands." She said reaching over to rub my arm.
"What offer?" I asked confused.
"To continue our foreplay." Hearing what Jessyani said disgusted me and I pulled my arm away.
"No thanks, I like my girls tall with burgudy hair." I shoke my head sliding off the stool and getting ready to walk away. Before I left I turned around to face Jessyani, "were you ever Sawyers' friend?"
"Yeah, but at a certain point you have to start looking out for yourself."
"Um, okay." I turned around and walked through the crowd in the direction of where I had last seen Sawyer heading.
I found her just outside the doors of the club crying but trying to get it together. "Soy, what you saw back there wasn't my fault. Jessy thought we had something and she kissed me that's it."
"Hey, you don't owe me any explanations. You broke up with me remember?" She said taking her sleeve to wipe away her tears.
"Yeah I do and I think I made a mistake. I want you back, I realize what's importamt in life now."
"You know what tonight taught me Marty? That you don't really know people like you think you do. If someone would have told me that two weeks ago you were going to break up with me and that I would catch you kissing my ex best friend at our favorite night club I would've called them crazy. But look at us now. I think you did me a favor. I was so sure about us and now I look around and I'm not sure of anything and I really like that, the not knowing. So as much as I miss you I don't want to be with you." With that Sawyer gave me a kiss on the cheek, spun on her heels and walked away with the stares of every guy within twenty yards – even the bouncer – the moon shining on her back giving her an ethereal glow.
What I realized as I watched the love of my life walk away from me was that the gods had smiled down on me and I had all the luck on my side but I took it for granted and I would never find another girl like Sawyer again.
