Living in an apartment with friends for the first time in my life is kind of surreal. There's open space, a life-size refrigerator, and our very own coffee table. It's like all the benefits of being an adult, but still being young enough to say you have no idea what you are doing.
In addition to all the things I've acquired through "living on my own" with my five other roommates, there's an incredible amount of freedom. Just last week I pulled an all-nighter because there was no one to tell me that was a bad idea! (Side-note: it was a bad idea, please don't do that, love yourself.)
That being said, with all this freedom, there comes these massive gray areas where, well, we just end up doing things without repercussions. So in my month of living in an apartment with all friends, I developed ten simple rules that every apartment should have in order to keep the apartment full of friends and not enemies.
1. While in common areas, clothes must be applied to areas that would be covered by a bathing suit.
You completely overreacted and all of the blinds were closed; I don't see what the big deal is but fine, whatever.2. Non-common area items may not stay in the common area.
Oh my god, you've left three pairs of shoes in the living room this week, pick them up and put them in your own goddamn room.
3. Public-use space should be free to use for all roommates.
If that goddamn puzzle ever takes up the whole dining room table for a week again I swear I will burn it.
4. Dirty dishes may not be in the sink for more than overnight; clean dishes may not be left on the drying rack for over a day.
How did you even fit all this crap in here? Like seriously, I'm pretty sure there are more dishes in this sink than we even have in this apartment. What is this? Pasta? We haven't had pasta in three days. Oh my god, this is gross.
5. If a person of the opposite sex enters the apartment, especially if it is someone that the other roommates don't know, everyone receives a warning.
Oh, hi, Curtis. Yeah, no, I did just get out of the shower. You're just gonna be here? Yeah, no, that's fine, I wasn't going to complain about life and stuff my face or anything.
6. Always support fellow roommates; they're your family now.
I just, I just don't understand it, you know? Like he was perfect, and I loved him so much. I thought...I thought he was going to be around for a long time, and then he just...What? Yes, Christine. I know it's just a movie, but Stoick's death in "How to Train Your Dragon 2" hit me really hard, okay? Just...okay?
7. Conserve energy: turn off the lights when you leave.
Okay, seriously, what the hell is this? Every single light in this apartment is on and I know for a fact all of you are in bed. Come on, guys. Respect the planet.
8. If you use the last of a common-use product, replace it.
Okay, you know what, I understand using all the toilet paper and leaving the empty tube behind. It happens to all of us, I get it. But no, you actually removed said empty tube, put it in the trash, and didn't replace it. Who--who even does that? You put half the energy into it already, just finish the job!
9. The common area is a space for everybody to socialize and relax.
So please come out of your room more often. Sometimes I'll be sitting here for hours and not even know you're home. Like that's weird. We're roommates now. Please talk to me.
10. Respect one another.
You know what, you're a bunch of nut bags with weird quirks and weird habits and weird senses of humor. Then again, I'm the weirdo that wrote up a set of rules, so I guess you're in good company. I love you, ya bunch of freaks.