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Sasuke's Top 5 Fails That Keep Him From OG Ninja Status

Sasuke's good but he got his ass kicked way too much to be an All Time ninja.

Solomon Collins

Apr 05, 2016

Loyola University Chicago

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Sasuke's Top 5 Fails That Keep Him From OG Ninja Status

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As the Naruto saga enters a new chapter, a lot has been made about the All-Time Ninja list and fans of Sasuke Uchiha keep talkin' shit. People are entitled to opinions and Sasuke's dope, I'll admit but his catalog doesn't give him a top spot. Here are four of Sasuke's top fails that prove my point.

Sasuke leaves Konoha and Naruto beats his ass.

While Naruto worked his ass off, Sasuke got overnight strength from the antagonist -- a.k.a he cheated.

Sasuke fans will say he won. Wrong, look at the context -- after fighting five villains beforehand, an exhausted Naruto still whoops Sasuke's ass.

Young Sasuke vs Itachi (Prime)

For some reason, Sasuke thinks he can kill his older brother -- one of the strongest ninjas ever who's in his physical prime.

Sasuke can't even land a single hit.

Itachi's not even sweating.

Damn. #NoMercy

Foolish little Sasuke.

Sasuke goes blind.

The bloodline of his clan (the Uchiha) gives Sasuke eyes that predict every attack. If he wasn't an Uchiha, he wouldn't be able to do anything.

He relies on his eyes so much, he actually goes blind and losses his powers in the show. Whoops.

Sasuke fights Killer Bee, epic ninja-rapper

Killer Bee's a genius swordsman. Sasuke picked a dumb fight and almost gets killed.

Sasuke can't even keep up with Killer Bee's speed:

#SliceAndDice

Then KB pierces Sasuke's arteries with this insane ninja-gangsta finishing move:

Grown Sasuke vs Itachi

A book can be written about this rematch, but I'll make a brief summary: disease beat Itachi -- not Sasuke. Sasuke got whooped, and Itachi is an OG ninja god.

Don't believe me? Remember, Itachi joined Kakashi's (yes, Kakashi-Sensei) Anbu-Black Ops team at age 11. Eleven years old.

Don't ever insult the OG.

#ForeverRespected

Be as mad as you want Sasuke fans, but facts don't lie.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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All names should be "unisex names."

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I get it... I'm pale.

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Everyone has insecurities, that's just a fact. You didn't ask to be born this way. You didn't ask to inherit the one trait no one else in your family has. And you definitely didn't ask to be this ghostly white. But as soon as you've learned to live with it for a while (less wrinkles later on in life, right? right???) someone has to ruin it for you. They have to flaunt they're perfectly tanned body from Spring Break and hold their sun-kissed skin against yours. But I've had enough... here are the things that perpetually pale individuals are tired of hearing.

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Sasuke's Top 5 Fails That Keep Him From OG Ninja Status

Sasuke's good but he got his ass kicked way too much to be an All Time ninja.

Sasuke leaves Konoha and Naruto beats his ass.

Young Sasuke vs Itachi (Prime)

Sasuke goes blind.

Sasuke fights Killer Bee, epic ninja-rapper

Grown Sasuke vs Itachi

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!