In college, the fast pace of classes, exams, and extra-curriculars lead many of us to turn to friends and confidantes for support. Often times after a really hard day, we rush to call or text that one friend who we know understands. Friends can be truly instrumental in getting us through hard times and rough patches. Unfortunately, not all people understand what it means to be a friend.

Many of us suffer from the presence of low-quality friends, but the real issue is being able to spot these individuals. It is quite common to call the people that one associates with their friends, but in reality, the people that you frequently entertain yourself with may simply be acquaintances. While they are beneficial in terms of surface-level social interaction, it is unwise to expect deep emotional connections with these individuals. This is not to say that they are incapable of friendship and reliability, they are simply not willing to do these things with you.

An important part of social development is understanding the roles that people play in your life. Not everyone is meant to be your best friend, so it would be sensible to treat people with the appropriate regard. It is important to ask yourself if the people in your life truly have your best interests at heart. Here we shall learn how to discern between three different types of relationships:

1. The Acquaintance

An acquaintance is someone you may see around your residence hall, at the events you frequent, and maybe even the parties you attend. This normal relationship is centered around casual conversation, polite necessities, and surface-level connection. Usually, an acquaintance won’t know much about your background, goals, or problems, but they may know a few personal interests and activities.

Because you likely have something in common with this person, they are easy to speak to when they are there, as the conversation is usually centered around daily activity.

An acquaintance may be there for the good times, during the parties and the fun. As things become more difficult and your presence is no longer a party booster or source of laughter, some people’s affections tend to fade away. While these relationships may seem shallow, they are important for daily interaction, networking, and community.

2. The Opportunist

Some of us may know that one individual who seems to reappear during social events, exams, and free gatherings. They usually don’t engage in any other situation and hardly show interest in anything besides their own self-interest. When your presence provides them with some sort of service, they appreciate your utility. When you have nothing to offer to their benefit, they tend to evanesce away.

It is not necessary to delete these individuals from your life completely, as we have all been in this position before.

This relationship is influential in adulting, where many relationships begin as mutually beneficial partnerships. Not every member of your social community will serve a deep purpose, but they should all perform some role. The opportunist is an essential component of college campuses, but they must be balanced by some form of reciprocation. If they cannot offer anything to your life or wellness, steer away from these potentially parasitic individuals.

3. The Friend

Though many people may describe or disguise themselves as this, true friends are found few and far between. These are the people you can turn to for genuine advice, for a helping hand, or even a shoulder to cry on. Friends will genuinely care about your physical and emotional wellbeing, usually checking up on you to see if you’re okay. Even when they are not directly present, there is a sense of bonding and connection that persists despite life’s circumstances.

Friendship involves a mutually beneficial interaction between two people who care about one another. Not only do they laugh, play, and explore with you, a good friend’s presence enriches your life. While some relationships may twist and turn with the seasons, true friendship weathers on.

As you navigate the social scene, it is important to keep the reality of your relationships in mind. We encounter a numerous amount of individuals on the daily, many names popping up and many fading away. To preserve your emotional wellbeing and happiness, remember the importance of developing and maintaining these relationships. Given proper assessment and consideration, you should be able to maneuver amidst these connections for the most optimal college experience.