If we can not love ourselves, who can?
Listen, you are incredible and you deserve to love yourself. You do not, in fact, need someone else to do it for you. You see, self love is an important part of fostering a happy and meaningful life. It is a journey to be explored and something to always be working on. Here are some ideas as to where to begin!
1. Ask yourself some questions.
What do you like about yourself? What can you do well? What do you dislike? What do you want to improve? What do you wish was different?
A lot of people's lists will unsurprisingly contain more things they dislike about themselves than what they like. No worries if this is the case! This is where you can start exploring. Go through each question and its answer and ask yourself why this is the case.
2. Begin to exercise regularly.
You make your own schedule, and it does not have to be anything intense! You could just walk or lift some weights. Either way, try and start with at least thirty minutes for three or four days a week. Set some goals, not necessarily for weight loss, but just to keep your body healthy and your mind clear.
3. Know what you love to do.
Don't limit yourself with this exercise. Go for it, and again, go through and ask yourself why you love these things - write those reasons down too!
In addition, make time for what makes you happy. Whether it is performing, playing soccer, swimming, rowing, or meditating, carve out time and make it happen. You deserve to be happy.
4. Identify what makes you happiest and what causes you grief, frustration or anger.
If you have a hard time pinpointing what exactly makes you feel these ways, perhaps think of specific instances in which you felt joyful or angry and figure out why you felt like this.
5. List your values and intolerances
From doing the previous exercise, you may begin to craft a list of what matters to you, and what you dislike or will not tolerate. It is very easy to write the words we think we are supposed to write, but really try and focus in on your personal experiences and what you were feeling.
6. Look in the mirror every day and say out loud one aspect of yourself that you admire.
Is it the color of your eyes, the dimple in your smile, or the creases on your belly? Is it the positivity you feel or the shape of your arms? Make sure to pick something!
7. Start journaling.
Record how you are feeling once a day, once a week, or just whenever you feel like it. For an extra challenge, something that can really make a difference is complimenting yourself once a day, and writing it down so you can look back at all your progress!
8. Make time for yourself.
It is not selfish to put yourself first. In fact, you have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of others. If you have committed to too much, do not be afraid to do what is best for your well-being and give something up. Self advocacy can be very difficult, but it makes a huge difference once you learn to do it!
9. Make a change.
"If you keep doing the same thing, you are going to keep getting the same results." - Anonymous
If you know going to bed at 2:00 AM makes you feel groggy and negative in the morning, then shift your schedule around so you can go to bed earlier. If you are having issues with low self esteem, identify the problem areas and work on those specifically! Yay!
10. Know this:
You are not meant to be perfect, you are meant to be human. In fact, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Miss a day of exercise? It's no big deal, because you are finding your balance. Feeling crappy or do something you regret? Acknowledge it, accept it, reflect and try to move past it. Easier said than done, I know, but remember: You are not meant to be perfect, only human. There is beauty in everything, and you are incredible.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
―Sharon Salzberg
