Grandparents are one of life’s greatest gifts. If you’re lucky enough to grow up with one or two, you understand the importance of their role in your life. You may not appreciate it when you’re younger, but as you get older you start to see the impact they truly have. It’s subtle yet expansive and appreciated but underrated.

I grew up living in the same town as all three of my grandparents. I saw them multiple times each week whether there was an event going on or we just stopped in for a quick visit…they were always there. Birthday parties when I was young, basketball/volleyball/soccer games growing up, graduations and other special events, holidays and family traditions, you name it…they were present.

You become so use to your grandparents being there, it’s hard to adjust to a day when they’re not. I never thought losing a grandparent would be so difficult, I figured that out the hard way when I lost my grandma in 2008. As healthy as can be, Busha was always up and running around. She became sick in early February and after watching her health digress rapidly for two weeks, we said our last goodbyes. This was the first time I lost someone I loved.

I saw my dad cry for the very first time, and my mom transform into a different person. You understand that while you’re suffering a loss, they are suffering an even greater loss. She was the person that raised my mom and her five siblings single-handedly. She welcomed my dad into the family and shot all of his sarcastic remarks right back at him. She was the foundation of our family and provided the gathering place for every holiday and special event. And she was gone – just like that.

Losing Busha made me appreciate the grandparents I still had to an even greater extent. It hit me that someday, I would have to live without them too. While I knew that day would come, I would take advantage of every chance I got to see them.

Fast forward to today and our family is dealing with another loss. Papa fought a long battle and was reunited with my dad and my uncle after a full 93 years of life. On top of being our grandpa, Papa was our current events specialist, advice columnist and financial advisor. He never skipped a beat. He possessed more knowledge than I dream of achieving.

The single most aspect I’ll miss the most about Papa is his generosity. Never once did Papa put himself first. His donation list was lengthy when it came to both time and money. When a family member needed guidance and assistance, he was the first to offer his hand.

I am lucky enough to have a wonderful grandma I continue to visit and catch up on life with. Nanny embodies everything you imagine your grandma to be: someone who spoils you on birthdays and holidays, an expert baker, a source of advice and unending love. She has been faced with battle after battle yet she’s handled every setback in a more than honorable way. Nanny has taught us how to speak up, how to fight back and how to open your heart when all is said and done.

We appreciate our grandparents while we have them, but oftentimes, we don’t realize their true impact until it’s too late to say thank you. Thank you for your support, your love, and for always being present when we needed you.

My biggest fear in life is not dying, nor loving, but losing someone I love. I’ve experienced this fear becoming a reality more times than once, and it’s affected how I react to different situations. I worry on a constant basis, I panic if I can’t get a hold of you, and every time I pick up the phone I prepare for what’s on the other end. The feeling of loss is overwhelming – it completely consumes you. It’s something you can’t describe, you can’t get rid of, and you surely can’t “fix.”

But this is the result of loss. People change. They mourn. They close themselves off. At the same time, they’re eyes are opened. They focus on more important things. They say, “I love you” more frequently.

You will experience loss in this lifetime, and it’s up to you how you will handle it. Let the experience of loss alter the relationships you’ve built with the friends and family you still have. Tell them how you feel, say thank you when you should, and let them know how important they are to you.