When you go off to college you leave many things behind. Family, friends, possessions and more. One of the major things that many leave behind are boyfriends/girlfriends and the distance starts to make them grow apart. I know that in our generation, there are the assumptions that long distance relationships do not work out because the pair can not see each other everyday, or one is bound to go off to college and cheat, or the communication does not work like it used to and a lot of times these things are true. I am one of those people that actually advocate for long distance relationships because I feel that if you truly care about someone, then you are willing to go through anything with that person in order to stay together. Right now I want to give four ways, in my opinion, on how people can keep a long distance relationship from dying out.
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1. Communication.
Nothing ruins a long distance relationship worse than bad communication. Going weeks without contacting your boyfriend/girlfriend can lead to a tragic end. Bad communication leaves room for assumptions, both good and bad. When you are not regularly calling or texting it can be said that you do not care about the relationship anymore, or that your time is being preoccupied by something or SOMEONE else. It takes maybe two minutes out of your day to send a text message telling the other person good morning, or explaining briefly how your day will be, or just checking up on them every now and then. When one person in the relationship feels that things are taking a turn in the wrong direction then both people in the relationship should have a discussion about what is changing and what can be done to make it better. IF that is what both parties want. If someone means enough to you, reaching out to them on a regular basis will be second nature.
"Obviously, a long-distance relationship is hard. But, like anything worth having, you make it work." - Leona Lewis
2. Little things.
Even though you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are not in the same city or state, little gestures still matter. A simple good morning/good night text can brighten someone's mood. A word of encouragement in the middle of the day. Random phone calls, even if they are brief. Both of you must understand that you are both busy with new obstacles and experiences in college. You might not be able to talk everyday or every night, but that does not mean you do not talk at all. Figure out addresses so that you can send them gifts for birthdays and holidays. Just because the two of you are not together does not mean you have to stop your usual rituals. I know, for girls especially, it does not take much to please her, or make her smile. And small, caring gestures can go a long way to let her/him know that you still care and want the relationship to work.
"Some think love can be measured by the amount of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers, or by using the words 'for ever.' But love can only truly be measured by actions. It can be a small thing, such as peeling an orange for a person you love because you know they don't like doing it." - Marian Keyes
3. Understanding.
So many relationships can crash and burn because of the simple fact that one person in the relationship is clingy and always making assumptions when the person is not texting or calling them 24/7. In college, especially the first year, we are working to find ourselves, make new friends, and experience new things. Most in college are not always looking at their phone like they were in high school, or just sitting in their room watching television and scrolling on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter because they have a curfew. No, our lives are changing and we are growing as people. Sometimes you do have to give your boyfriend/girlfriend space and understand that they will go to parties every now and then. Or they will be out late hanging with new friends. That does not mean they do not care and do not want to talk to you, but they are just learning to enjoy their new living situation. You should also be doing the same. Understand you both are adjusting and working towards the next path in your lives, but also understand you both are still in a relationship and be sure to keep a connection with your significant other.
"I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together." - Julia Roberts
4. Trust.
Even though I put this fourth, this is the most important one to me. So many people will be in your ear saying this about your boyfriend/girlfriend and saying that. If you do not talk to them yourself do not start to make any assumptions. And if you feel you can not trust your girlfriend/boyfriend then you probably should not be in a relationship with them. Do not let other people convince you that your significant other is probably at their school having all the fun in the world, so you should do the same. If you really want to be with that person do not let others control your thoughts and emotions towards that person. Without trust there is nothing. There are some couples that agree to open relationships and everything, but whatever you want the boundaries of your relationship to be that is where communication comes in. Build a relationship on trust so that if it becomes long distance you know you do not have to worry about a thing.
"Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational." - Hugh Mackay
Long distance relationships are hard, but many will say they are worth it. Communicate, enjoy and give little gestures, show understanding and learn to trust your boyfriend/girlfriend. If you are dealing with a long distance relationship now that is getting to hard. I hope seeing these four points help you solve any misunderstandings or confusion. Many will say there is no reason to stress about a relationship right now. We are young and there are plenty more fish in the sea. And although that is true, there are bad and good fish, and if you already got yourself a good one, why let it go?
