This is a continuation of Loving With Vs. Without Anxiety

(Italicized is the anxiety view)

First Date and Afterthoughts

The first date was incredible. As soon as I saw her, I was floored without amazingly beautiful she was. Stunning doesn’t even begin to describe it. Am I even seeing the right girl? Must be, because she hugs me and we walk into the restaurant. We spend hours talking and laughing, and for the first time in a long time, my anxiety is absent from my mind. I was so enveloped and fascinated with the beauty before me I couldn’t think about anything else. After around 4 hours of sitting and talking, she has to go. She leaves a bit early to avoid the traffic because she has a prior engagement, but we hug goodbye and go our separate ways.

After I got home, I was all smiles. The next 30 minutes felt like weeks. I keep arguing with myself in my head over and over “do i text her? Do I wait until later tonight? I don’t want to seem too clingy” Now it’s important to note here, I’ve always been confident when it comes to things like this. I just did what I wanted to do. If I wanted to send a message, I did. If i wanted to wait, I would wait. This girl, changed me. She made me so nervous for even the smallest things because I wanted to make sure that everything went absolutely perfect.

Then out of nowhere I get a message. “So, I had a really amazing time today, and I’m kind of kicking myself cause there was no traffic so I could’ve stayed a few more minutes”. That’s it. My heart was on top of the clouds. I was as happy as I could be, and I excitedly offered a second date. She agreed, and we settled on a drive in movie a little over a week from now.

Well, that did not last one bit..

The first date was amazing. I have never laughed so hard for so long. We sat and talked for hours. He was so interesting and even better, he was interested in me. He wanted to get to know me. He was asking questions and answering mine with details. He was just amazing.

Sadly, I had to leave early due to plans for that night. We hugged and said goodbye. I was worried that he didn't like me. When I got to my destination I texted him about what a wonderful time I had and how I wished I stayed longer and he replied! We talked and agreed there would be a second date. We agreed on the drive-in in about a week. Who knew we couldn't wait that long?

Second Date and First Kiss

Less than 24 hours after our first date, she offers for me to go take pictures of her friend’s band, if I wanted to. They had a show that night and it was an hour away. Needless to say of course I went. I was a little nervous about this one, because I didn’t know what to expect. I wasn’t sure if this was a date, or if this was just a favor for some friends. Either way, I didn’t care. I wanted to see her again, so I agreed. And what do you know. I didn’t end up taking any pictures, because we just laughed, talked, and watched the bands together. It was a crowded room, yet all I could see was her.

After the show was done, she wanted to know if I’d be interested in grabbing dinner with her. It was 11PM so we went to a diner, because of course I said yes. Again, all we could do is laugh and talk well into the night, until we both agreed we HAD to go.

And then we talked some more outside our cars, refusing to get in. I could stay with her for many more hours, but eventually we both had to leave. Smiling at each other, looking into her eyes I went in for a kiss, and she came in for it too. It was amazing. We both opened our eyes at the same time and I couldn’t help but laugh because it looked like we were both staring at each other the entire time, so we laughed even more and finished off the night with another kiss.

This girl is something special, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

So the next day after our date, I was going to a show that my friends were playing at. Knowing he was a photographer, I asked if he would like to come take some photos. He agreed to come even though it was about an hour away. That was an amazing sign to me that he really wanted to get to know me. He ended up not taking pictures but we laughed and talked to the whole time. I can't even tell you what songs were played because I was so focused on him.

After the show I was starving. I asked him if he would join me for dinner, half expecting him to say no since it was already 11 at night. But, he said yes. Again we sat and talked for hours and laughed at every thing. He knew how to capture my attention.

Eventually, we knew we had to part ways. We stood by our cars and talked. I kept hoping he would kiss me. Finally, he leaned in and kissed me. When we finally separated, we erupted into laughter because it looked as though we had our eyes open the whole time.

This boy...he just does something to me.