If you ever wonder what hell is like, just ask someone who has a drug addiction, had a drug addiction, or loves somebody with a drug addiction. To the addict it is like licking the breath of God, but in actuality it is hell on Earth, and that doesn't even begin to cover it.

The epidemic hides in basements, bathrooms, and even in bedrooms. Addicts are scared to ask for help because their pride and ego, guilt and shame, kicks in when that time comes to stop and to not fight, but to surrender. Their families wonder where they went wrong and what they could have done to stop it. But, at the end of the day, the addict himself is the only one who can recover-and they can-but it’s a matter of if they will…

It is not just the addict being affected by their choice of drug. It’s a spiraling effect: your family goes to sleep at night wondering if you’ll be alive the next morning, your spouse prays every day that you get better, and your friends stop talking to you because they can’t see you kill yourself any longer. It is difficult to feel sympathy for these people. It is difficult to suffer the selfishness of a drug addict who will lie to you and steal from you and forgive them and offer them help. Can there be any other disease that renders itself so unappealing?

Disease. That’s what addiction is. Addiction is considered a physiological disease because it meets the same requirements as other disorders and diseases, including a great deal of terminal illnesses.

So what do we do? When you discover the one you love is in the grips of an addiction, it is heartbreaking, it is gut wrenching, and it makes you feel helpless. At first, you’re in denial and hope you have it all wrong, but that’s when it just gets even worse. You will also have been emotionally changed. Deep inner reactions have occurred as you have been through the mental turmoil of wondering how to help, wondering why they can’t stop, and hurting from all the deceit, manipulation and selfishness.

If you have ever loved an addict, see if you can look me square in the eyes and tell me that you don’t have an addiction as well-trying to fix them. If you are lucky, they recover, if you are really lucky, you recover, too. You will sit on the floor crying for someone to help you up, but the one person you want to help you needs to help themselves first.

So what if they don’t stop? What if the person dies and not the addict? But, what if they one day realize they need help? What if the addict dies and not the person? What if they one day leave for rehab? I tell you what you do: you let them. And while they are off getting help, you get help, too. Go to nar anon or al anon meetings. You will need help just like the person who destroyed themselves and you along the way.

Whichever choice they make, it is ultimately their decision. If they thankfully decide to go to rehab, you support them. You will realize it is not the person who uses, but the addict. It is not the person who steals to support their habit, but the addict. It is not the person who lies, but the addict. And it is not the person who chose drugs over love, it is the addict.

Finally, if you or someone you know is using drugs, the drug abuse hotline is 1-877-959-7864.