It is a blessing and a curse loving a girl that is constantly on reserve. You have to know it is not easy for her either. You weren’t there when her ex broke her heart, when her dad walked out or her best friend found her ex cheating on her at a party. She isn’t doing it because she doesn’t trust you. She is always on reserve because events leading up to you entering her life haven’t gone as planned.
But that’s good, right? If she never left the idiot she now calls her ex-boyfriend, you wouldn’t have been able to sweep her off her feet. She doesn’t need you because she stopped needing people a long time ago, she wants you. She cares more about you than you think.
But you have to be patient.
She is the girl that never needed a relationship to be happy. She drowns herself in work, school and a good book. She knows her family friends will have her back so why does she need someone else? She hates Valentine’s Day. “It’s just a money making holiday,” she says.
People sometimes think she is rude or inconsiderate when one of her friends is debating on whether to take a guy back after he broke her heart. Her response, “Leave him. Pick up the pieces and move on.” To some, that is the hardest thing to do, but to her, she learned it is the best thing to do.
She may seem so strong, and she is. But she wasn’t always like that. There was a period in time where she was weak. Her heart was broken, and she was so vulnerable. She doesn’t want to feel like that again. She is great at covering up her feelings and dealing with them on her own because that’s what she did for years.
Now she is afraid. She is afraid to let someone in when she knows that sometimes promises can’t always be carried through. But in the end, she picks you. She texts you every day as soon as she wakes up, and she always makes sure to say goodnight. She calls you when something exciting happened or needs to vent about an exam. She is special. You do know that, right?
She guards her heart with everything she has. She overthinks a situation, and yes, sometimes you get annoyed. But there was that one time, where she barely thought about something, and she ended up getting hurt. Give her credit and cut her a break. She doesn’t mean to push you away just like you don’t mean to overstep sometimes. She just likes her space. She likes feeling independent when you know as well as she does, she really needs your advice at times. She can be awkward and sarcastic because that’s a defense mechanism that works for her. Just enjoy it. She is funny, and her laugh is sometimes obnoxious. But you love it. The smile and look you give her lights up her whole world.
So here is a reminder - she is one of kind. Don’t take it for granted. She really cares about you and loves you more than she will be able to put into words. She is just on reserve so just stick around because you know as well as she does, you are meant to be in her life.
