You may be the person who's always putting others before yourself, you hate telling people no, and you'd rather see someone else happy than yourself. Right now, you're realizing this isn't the way to live and it’s time for your happiness to come first. There comes a point in time where you have to be selfish, as much as I hate admitting this; it's true. We all have to understand that we have to love and appreciate ourselves before anyone else can. It's okay to take a little break from making others a priority and focus on making yourself one.

I've learned that no matter what you do for other people, it's nowhere near as equivalent to doing for yourself. My mom has always taught me to love and appreciate myself before I do anyone else, it's important to her that I am aware of my self-worth and I know that God has a purpose for me. I live by the verse "You must clothe yourself with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience'" --Colossians 3:12

How can you expect someone to value you if you don't even value your own well-being? You can't expect that because there's no justification for it. When you hear the phrase "Self-love is the best love" it's pretty accurate, I truly believe self-love is the greatest type of love. The best relationship you can have is with yourself. During the process of prioritizing yourself, you will learn that: you're enough, you're beautiful, you're confident, you're capable of anything, you're smart, you're faithful, and you're inspiring. Please don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

If you ever wonder why certain relationships and friendships didn't work out or even before getting into one, ask yourself "How can I prioritize my feelings and emotions in order to improve my future self?” Answering this question will help you better understand what improvements you can make for the future and in the meantime, you’ll learn valuable things about yourself.

Before I drift my way into relationships, I receive a reminder to make sure I love myself first before I bring this person into my life because I know there's no way he can love me if I don't love my own self. It's kind of strange because it feels like someone's tapping on my shoulder saying "Adrieanna, do you feel that you've made yourself a priority? If not, there's no way this is going to work." I know this is God reminding me to prioritize and value my well-being before I disappoint myself along with the other person.

It's important to know that God has a purpose for everyone and for every circumstance. He gives us signs that many times we ignore; those signs end up being us noticing critical things about ourselves. If you've ever been in a relationship that you thought was going to be long term but didn't end up working out, maybe that was God letting you know that you need to reevaluate the adoration and respect you have for yourself. You'll end up feeling that "tap on the shoulder" like I did. It's your wake-up call. Remember to love, value, respect, honor, and prioritize yourself before you can expect it in return.

Like Beyoncé said:

“When you hurt me, you hurt yourself

Don't hurt yourself.

When you diss me, you diss yourself

Don't hurt yourself.

When you hurt me, you hurt yourself

Don't hurt yourself.

When you love me, you love yourself

Love God herself.”

From the Lemonade album: Don’t Hurt Yourself (feat. Jack White)