“Now wait just a gosh darn diggity sec. I never said that!” The old man who was bald as a cue ball said.
“Well my memory is a steel trap,” said the old woman with crooked teeth who knocked on her noggin for emphasis. Her left molar rattled. “And I distinctly remember a certain fresh young buck telling me at the dance hall in 1947 ‘You shine brighter than the fourth of July.’”
The old man rocked in his chair with irritation. “Mildred, I swear to the good Lord above that I did not say that! On that night, I walked up to you after you had just gotten done dancing with Pete Wilkens and I told you that you had ‘danced into my heart.’”
Mildred slapped his arm. “That’s a load of hooey and you know it, Melvin! You wished you had said such a smooth line. Then I wouldn’t have turned you down the first time.”
“Turned me down! Turned me down?” Melvin looked around at an invisible audience, as if he was asking them if he had heard correctly. “Millie, when you saw me you thought I was the handsomest devil in that whole hall and you know it.”
She sniggered. “Your breath smelled and your shirt was buttoned wrong.”
“Well excuse me! Your make-up was smeared from kissing Pete Wilkins.”
“That’s because I was dating him, you old fool. And you knew that at the time too. Everyone did. And yet you still waltzed on up to us with your cheesy little pickup line thinking you were the bee’s knees.”
Melvin nudged his wife playfully. “But who drove you home that night?” he said with a leer.
“You did, but only because you danced like Fred Astaire and Pete Wilkens was as dumb as post. I was fixing to end it that night you know.”
“That’s what you keep saying, but admit it, you thought this crazy kook was charming.”
Mildred rolled her eyes but let him have it anyways. “I did and I do. God help me.”
Melvin did a little jig in his chair. “Not to mention what a good fighter I was, protecting my lady. Old Pete Wilkens never saw that punch coming.”
“There you go twisting the story again! You make yourself out to be some great hero but may I remind you that you planted on me right in front of Pete who was still my date to the dance, by the way. And the only reason he didn’t see it coming is because you sucker-punched the guy as soon as he got a little hot.”
He pondered on that for a bit. “Did I really?”
“Of course, Melvin! Don’t you remember? Gosh, your brain must be nothing but dust and cobwebs.”
He reached out and held his wife’s wrinkled hand. “Well, you know what they say, two halves equal a whole.”
“Who you calling a half? My memory is better than yours, you dingus.” But she held onto his hand and he gave a chuckle in return.
