It is no question that our society has a bunch of beauty standards that are forcibly placed upon us. Although most of us try not to participate in these standards it's hard not to find yourself looking in the mirror and wondering if you're good enough. Social media and media in general is filled with flawless women with smooth faces, perfect teeth, and no trace of acne every existing. It leaves you to ask yourself a million times
WHY ME?
It leaves you wondering if something is wrong with you. Well that was me the past couple of oh I don't know
POSSIBLY ALL MY LIFE!
Why was I so ashamed of what I couldn't control?
What made me stop to realize it was a pimple I developed a couple days ago.
I had been trying different products out to deal with my acne. Now, for starters, I do not have major acne but I do get breakouts from time to time due to hormonal issues like every other person. I was trying everything in the book to try and get rid of it. I have and still continuously drink water, face creams, you name it I've tried it. My mother would always point out my breakouts and complain that I was breaking out which made me feel even worse. It was like Oh yeah God please bless me with acne I love it.
Like I don't think I asked for this. The worst and most butthole thing you could do to someone dealing with acne or any face complications is pointed it out. News flash honey they know it's there. Some things are just out of our control.
But I had a pimple on my cheek and I felt embarrassed. I didn't understand why it was there. And one thing that I have noticed with freshly coming college is that I feel like I stand out more than ever. At least look wise. I felt and still feel like I look like a child compared to everyone I saw. Everyone looked so mature for 18 and 19 and 20 years old and I still look like I'm not a day over 15. WTF man.
Every day I feel self-conscious because I don't look as mature as everyone else and I don't look the way my mother did at my age. With all of this going on in my head you can imagine why having a pimple mad it worse.
With being in college the class of guys is different. They are older and have beards and muscles. The polar opposite of high school!
As I walked around I kept my head down and tried not to make eye contact. All because of this pimple I felt ugly inside and out. I would try to cover my face in class with my arm or hand just in case a cute guy sat near me and wouldn't be able to look up close at my pimple. I would hear stories and watch my friends get approached my attractive guys and I still didn't.
The question of "Why Am I not Pretty Enough?" was engraving itself in my mind. And with my looks being one thing I was feeling down on my relationship status.
Week one of being loveless in college-attle was a rough begining y'all. And it only gets more loveless and reckless.
