Technology makes me uncomfortable. By this, I do not mean that the actual physical presence of technological tools makes me uncomfortable. I mean that the way that those tools affect human beings unsettles me. By having human beings readily available at your fingertips, an intense fear of missing out builds up within people. Individuals feel pressured to always be on their phones, always conversing with someone else. There is this unspoken expectation to prove to other people that we are loved through the number of texts we receive or likes or shares. Most people feel lost without their phones, lost without that connection—technology has developed a generation that feels lost by themselves. This should be terrifying. This is what makes me uncomfortable.
Because our generation is consistently trying to demonstrate how wanted we are or how loved we are by people, we often jump into relationships without thinking or even feeling. We are constantly propelled by our need to feel loved and secure. Very few have the confidence in themselves to be patient and wait for someone that they have a genuine connection with.
Romantic relationships should not be sourced through text or computer programs. Your partner should be your best friend. Someone you respect and trust. Someone that you love to speak with and want to all of the time, BUT you should not feel like you have to, like you have to prove that not only you are loved, but that you love someone else.
Too many relationships are unfaithful. Too many are abusive. Too many relationships are genuinely unhealthy for both involved. Yet, people stay in them because they are afraid of being alone. Because we fear people perceiving us as unloved.
Your partner should make you feel the same way that your favorite song does. Your partner should challenge you to be more intellectual, more kind, more outgoing, more you. This person should complement and balance your personality. All in all, you should feel better as a person for being connected to them in the way that you are.
We need to stop asking who his/her friends are, where they are from, what their parents do, what they look like, or how many likes they get on social media. We need to start asking if they make you smile like a crisp, clear fall day. Do they make you laugh? Do you feel calm and collected from being around them?
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not boastful nor arrogant nor rude. If this is the definition of love—which I believe it is—then I do not think our generation as a whole has an honest understanding of what love is nor do I think we practice it.
My friends, we have some work to do.
Be present. Be patient. Be kind.
You will be surprised how easily love will caper its way in.
