The other night my friend and I were reminiscing about our high school days. We went over how life has had many unexpected twists and turns along the way.
One thing my friends tend to point out is an ex I had in high school. I was a freshman and he was a senior at the time. I can't even begin to explain how perfectly Taylor Swift's "Fifteen" related to my situation. I will admit, that song still effects me deeply.
Long story short, he was my first love.
Because he was a senior, people had a lot to say during that time. People called me every name in the book. I lost some "friends" along the way because they didn't support me at that time. My parents took an even bigger hit. People left and right commenting on their parenting styles. We even had family members taking their digs, "Well, I would never let MY daughter do that." To be perfectly honest, my parents didn't support us either. However, they accepted it because it came down to my happiness.
As I was ready to pack up that evening to leave my friends house, she asked If I had regretted being in that particular relationship. I didn't think twice about my answer, I looked at her and said "absolutely not." A surprised look came across her face.
If he walked into a room today, I would still get that stomach drop feeling. That type of feeling you get when your going downhill on a fast roller coaster. Because I was so young, people were quick to judge. During that time, it seemed like only my high school friends understood our relationship. Others had opinions that differed from mine and they didn't feel the need to hold back the "Sweetie, you are too young to understand love." The more people were against it, the more I threw myself into the relationship.
I felt the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Looking back, he didn't even treat me that well. It was the idea that for the first time in my life, I had experienced being in love. I felt a connection with someone on a deeper level. After he left our hometown, I battled with some depression. It wasn't until I focused on musical theatre, dance, and acting that I found myself again.
This relationship happened well over seven years ago. By no means do I still have serious feelings for him. But he was my first love. He will forever hold a special place in my heart. If I ever saw him again, he would still take my breath away. I felt compelled to tell my story because I regret nothing. I went through so many different emotions that year, but it shaped the person I became. I'm someone who has learned to love with caution. I'm someone who believes in love at first sight. I'm someone who believes that two people can find love at any age. I'm someone with a big heart.
