As my first week of college comes to a close, I realize that my transition has been relatively smooth thus far. I am aware that it is only the first week, but I have seen enough mental breakdowns and tears to know that others aren’t having such a great time. Obviously, those who are having a rough time will most likely be totally fine in a few weeks, but I still questioned why my own experience did not reflect the experiences of my peers.
I’m naturally shy and introverted. I don’t normally enjoy meeting multiple new people at once. In fact, I avoid large groups and busy hangouts for this reason. The weekend before classes, all freshmen moved in and got assigned to groups of around 15 people for orientation. One of the icebreakers my orientation leaders decided on was an activity where you basically had to sit on another group member’s lap. I was mortified. I wanted to run back to my dorm and hide in my (surprisingly spacious) closet. But I didn’t, and neither did anyone else. Afterwards, we all felt a bit awkward, but it was much easier to get to know each other.
Later that first night, I replayed the day’s events in my head. I nitpicked everything I had said to everyone I had met that day, and I always found something ‘wrong’. “That was a really stupid thing to say,” or “You were being arrogant” were the two most frequent thoughts I had.
Everyone is trying to find their place as soon as they arrive on campus. At first, you’re alone in a community of hundreds, even thousands of people. Making friends as quickly as possible is imperative. But at the same time, you need to present yourself as you are, and not how you think you need to be to make friends.
This is where self love and acceptance come in. Maybe some of the things I’ve said these past few days could be seen as stupid or arrogant by other people, and that’s okay. Sometimes I say silly things, and I’m proud of my accomplishments. What really matters is that I was confident and didn’t act like someone I’m not. I love who I am too much to do that.
As you transition into college life, loving yourself is one of the most important things you can do to make things easier. Self love can be anything from getting enough sleep to greeting people you see on campus. Worrying about how you look or what you say only hurts you. Don’t relive conversations in an attempt to find something ‘wrong’. You are awesome, whether you feel like it your first week or not. Remember that.
Believe me, most people are too concerned about themselves to even think about how loudly you snorted when you laughed at your own corny joke. If they did notice, they probably thought that it was funny or cute. People who are positive and respect themselves draw others in like a magnet. We all want to be around happy people, so why not be a happy person? You deserve to be happy, especially as a first year college student. You accomplished so much to get to where you are, and everyone should have the pleasure of knowing you. Say hello to people. Give compliments. Hold doors open. Wake up every morning and say, “I love myself so much, and I want to spread some of that love to other people.”
You’ll never regret doing this. What you will regret is hiding in your room and eating Easy Mac because you’re afraid to sit alone in the dining hall. Being the friendly person on campus may feel awkward at first, but it opens the door for tons of opportunities to come into your life. Go to the dining hall by yourself. Maybe you’ll have to eat alone that first time, but sitting there with an aura of positive energy will lure more than a few new friends. You may think you’re having a hard time adjusting, but there’s probably someone who has it worse than you. For that person, your loving, positive vibes could be what gets them through their first week, too.
