With the influence of peer pressure and a social construct of what it means to be successful, the desire to become uniform with our peers and in light of the media is seemingly relentless. We seem to be constantly faced with new pressures: to look a certain way, to hide from our feelings, and to maintain a persona that inevitably eats away at our true selfhood.

Learning to love yourself and learning to live for yourself are two difficult tasks that cannot be conquered overnight. I’m still learning to love myself. The realization that I wasn’t living for myself came soon after a trail of events that had significant and long-lasting effects on my life.

You learn a lot about yourself when you’re faced with a line of obstacles that can only be tackled and embraced alone.

Lesson #1. Being alone isn’t necessarily bad. When you learn to embrace the feeling of being alone, without fear of the uncertainties of yourself, you might find a new sense of fulfillment. The notion of being alone is seemingly taboo these days, as social media is flooded with photographs of people and their friends (#squadgoals).

Lesson #2. While, I’m not suggesting that you take a day to “find yourself” and embark upon a soul-searching adventure, I do want to instill something that won’t sound as monumental as it really should: you don’t need anyone’s approval to live the life you choose to live. Life is made up of choices that help us gain experience in one way or another, through trial and error, through lessons learned, and the little successes deemed insignificant.

Lesson #3. If any one person is going to read what I have written here, I hope it is myself. I am a work in progress, and I always will be. It’s taken me far too long to realize the importance of this, but the time to start living for yourself is now and here are some ways to start...

Making yourself a priority is critical. Sometimes staying home and giving yourself a little TLC is a better idea than going out with a group of friends on a Friday night.

You can say “no.” It is a powerful word that is seldom used. There seems to be obligation to every invitation or query, but your choice is your power in this world.

You can be in a relationship and still be independent. Falling in love can be important, if that’s a value you hold dear, but falling in love with yourself is far more critical.

Falling in love with yourself means that you make the time to take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, without hesitation.

“Success” isn’t being the top of the class or becoming a renowned CEO. Sometimes, “success” is waking up in the morning and taking that first deep breath of the day.

Taking control of your life is allowing yourself to have power over your passions, choices, and so much more. It’s enlightening.

Letting go of expectations will lift weight off your mind. Take the day as it comes and sail with the tides.

“Learn. Grow. Become.” This was the tagline of the school I attended between sixth and eighth grade and it has stuck with me ever since. I am in a constant pursuit of learning self-respect and compassion for myself and others.

Have balance. I was talking to a friend earlier this year about how balance in life is just as important as a balanced diet, making the remark that some days are “salad days” and other days are “eat-the-entire-pizza-in-one-sitting” days. Life is kind of like this, too, though I don’t actually recommend eating a whole pizza in one sitting, no matter how tempting the possibility is.

Last, but not least: breathe.

So here’s my life plan: I’m going to wake up in the mornings and call that a true success. I’m going to wake up grateful for the air that I breathe and the way my body knows how to put one foot in front of the other and just keep going.

Authors Note: I wrote this to myself many months ago as a reminder to love myself for all I am. Looking back on these words, I wouldn’t change a single thing. I’m excited to be a part of this journey we call life and I hope you are, too. Embrace this world with open arms and go forth, spreading light and positivity wherever you may land.