Loving yourself sounds like an easy enough task. You may look at others and see them post a plethora of selfies every day and think to yourself, “wow they’re in love with themselves." However, loving your outside appearance and your true self are two different things, so don’t jump to conclusions.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s so amazing to have confidence in your body and your outer appearance, I commend anyone who does. Your physical appearance is only a fourth of who you are though. To me, everyone has their heart, mind, soul, and appearance they must learn to love about themselves.
If you have self-doubt you need to continue to grow, accept and love yourself for the way you’re made. Also, part of growth is change. So, if there’s something you want to change, do it. You’re in charge of your own growth.
There’s also going to be things about yourself you can’t change, and that’s okay. You may have a disability, defect, an impairment of some sort.
For some of us, it may be a learning disability, a disorder that causes you to gain weight excessively, a squeaky voice, an abnormally large head, etc. Honestly, I feel like everybody has their own insecurity about themselves. You can’t let it be your crutch in life, you accept that you were made unique and love it even more.
Loving yourself comes with seeing your own self-worth. If you don’t see yourself as a queen or king that deserves to be treated as one, you’ll allow others to treat you like less. You can’t expect someone to treat you how you deserve if you don’t even treat yourself how you deserve.
Once you love yourself you’ll be your own source of happiness. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say that their significant other is their happiness. It isn’t supposed to be that way. You find happiness within yourself so no one has the power to take that away from you. A partner should add to your happiness, not embody it.
If you don’t love yourself you’ll expect and crave that validation and reassurance from your partner too much. It’ll become a job for them to always have to reassure you -- the focus will always be on you. Your boyfriend or girlfriend will end up getting the short end of the stick, and that gets old quick.
It’s no one’s job to make you see how great you are, you need to know from within that you’re perfectly made and accept yourself for everything you are.
If you lack self-love you’re more prone to settle for less in a relationship. You don’t put yourself on a high enough pedestal to think you deserve the ideal partner, so you lower your standards and settle for someone who isn’t everything you really want.
Even if you do end up being in a relationship with someone you do see as an ideal partner, your lack of self-love will leave you insecure and scared to do or say certain things because you don’t want to upset them and have them leave you. This is probably the worst of the two situations to be in.
This idea will make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells the whole relationship, causing unnecessary stress on your own behalf. You’ll let your significant other get away with things that bother you, say things that offend you, all because you’re too insecure to speak your mind.
You’re scared because you think you’re lucky to be with them, and you should just put up with it. You don’t need to put up with any of that, You should feel like anyone you’re with is lucky to be with YOU. Once you learn to love yourself you’ll have that confidence in all your relationships.
Loving yourself can come easy for some and be very difficult for others, so don’t compare yourself. It can take time, and this time shouldn't be rushed. Enjoy falling in love with yourself. When you learn to love every aspect of your being that energy shines through yourself to others. You’ll be so much happier loving yourself rather than degrading yourself every day.
