I have always been obsessed with pictures: taking pictures, posting pictures, having them hang in my room. Whether it was my first dorm room or my apartment now, the pictures of my friends and family have always been the center of my place I call home.
Sometimes, I'll find myself just looking at them and wondering what happened to this girl or I wish I still looked like this or I wish this was still my life. That's the good thing about photos; even if things in the picture change, the photo never will.
Regardless of where you're at in life, you have probably wanted something in your life to change. Whether it is something about yourself, your circumstances, your friends or just anything in your life, you have wanted to change something. I cannot stress how important it is to love yourself and to love where you are at in your life. If you do not like something, change it. You and only you have the power to do that.
Before you think about what school you're going to attend, before you decide that you're going to date this person or that person, you need to make sure you truly love yourself first. Without self-love, you will not be able to maintain the relationships you have or want to have or be able to do the things you really want to without beating yourself up first.
I used to think that self-love just meant thinking you were pretty or just felt just good enough to slide by with "loving myself." It is so much more than this. It is loving who you see when it is just you and you alone. It is loving who you are on the inside regardless of how people think of you.
It is how you see yourself and respecting who you are. Don't allow someone else to dictate how you are and who you are. If you are spending your life trying to please everyone, you will end up extremely unhappy and it will never happen. Focus on loving yourself and working on making you a better version of yourself and stop worrying about everyone else's perception of you. You deserve to be happy and not worry about pleasing everyone around you.
I used to never remember this. I was constantly in a rut, one I was unsure if it was possible to get out of. Life can feel absolutely impossible sometimes. At a point in my life I should've been excited about, I felt like I had nothing, sometimes not even myself. It was lonely, it was cold, it was hard. How am I supposed to move on in life if I can't even find happiness within myself? Contemplating suicide and attempting it was my only answer; at least I thought it was.
It took me a very long time to get out of this and sometimes I still am in that rut. Living a life with depression and severe anxiety is something I could never wish on someone. It was a life I never thought I would have. Being in a Christian school for my whole life, growing up with these people, I had family and friends surrounding me, but nothing seemed to make me feel good about myself. Nothing was making me, me again. If anything could go wrong in a day, it did. Except, this day, was every day for me.
Learning to love myself was the only thing to get me out of this. Loving yourself is what makes you, you. It helps you be who you are and helps you to be happy. Unfortunately, like most people, I sure had to learn this the hard way. Learning to love and respect yourself is a beautiful thing. Know your worth and love who you are always.
