I started my self-love journey when I turned 15-years-old. Right at the brink of when life threw a curveball that I was not ready to catch with my own two hands, again. And I say again because now that I'm in college curve balls are thrown every chance they get.

But when I first began this journey, I looked up every video and every article that told me how to love myself, again. Every list that said to meditate, to embrace fears, to write sticky notes on mirrors, to write daily in a journal, I did all of that. I set a "goal" saying that I will love myself deeply and truly by the age of 18.

Here I am, 18, and still sometimes cannot grasp the concept of self-love.

Still cannot grasp the concept of falling in love with myself.

Pouring love into empty vessels, not of my own.

And falling in love with ideas of perfection.

To say the least, it's difficult. To say the most, it ebbs and flows.

Social media gives us glimpses of peoples' lives' and we call that perfect.

We call every smile, body, hair, skin, life, filter, and place, perfect.

It gives us fabricated images of what we aspire to be or look like so well that we fabricate it into our own lives.

But it's not just social media.

Or any kind of media.

It can be our friends.

Our family.

Our jobs.

The college we attend.

The organizations we're a part of that can make us feel like we have to live up to a certain standard.

A standard of love we never defined for ourselves to even understand.

A standard so fast-paced we don't even give ourselves room to slow down.

Room to grow.

Room to forgive.

Room to look into the shadows of our own hearts.

Slow down from thinking that you have to love yourself at a certain time, date, or year. It's never-ending.

Grow from the situations that made you feel not good enough.

Forgive yourself from the toxicity and self-doubt.

Look into the shadows of your own hearts and within the darkness, you'll find the light.

I promise you

You are the painter of this masterpiece you call self-love.

You hold the paintbrush and you hold the colors that create love, patience, perseverance, and resilience.

Don't confine yourself by videos you watch or articles you read to define what self-love, self-care, or falling in love with yourself looks like.

The art about falling in love with yourself, again is that you take control of what that love looks like.