Four months ago, had someone granted me the ability to change one aspect about my past, I would have jumped at the offer. Perhaps I'd unmeet a the toxic friend that affected my ability to make friends throughout high school or skip out on the depressive phase of my life. The things I would change were endless. Now, however, had someone granted me such an ability, I would not change anything. I realize this shift is due to becoming a genuinely happy person.

When I was in eighth grade, I went through a typical case of middle school bullying. The subtle passive aggressive kind that sounds stupid if you vocalize what's bothering you, but you know that the intentions aren't benign. For instance, moving your belongings at the lunch table, claiming that too many people had already been sitting there, though both parties know this isn't true, they just don't want you there because they think you're annoying.

During the summer of 2017, I had the twisted yet fortune luck of meeting the most toxic person I hope I'll ever encounter. I say it's twisted because without meeting him, I doubt I would have the self-confidence and self-love and maturity that I do now.

(Given, I'm not the epitome of any of those things, but at least they're present.)

The months of crying to sleep and anxiety regarding whether I'd ever talk to him again were genuinely worth it. He instigated the self-love that I now have for myself, and I can't say whether I would have it without such an encounter.

Now that the negative past has been covered, or at least a couple of examples, I can shift to why I'm grateful for every experience so far and who I am today. I genuinely believe that every experience I have was for a reason. The depressive state that started in eighth grade and ended roughly a year ago is the reason I'm genuinely the happiest I've ever been. It took years of training myself to see the possibilities as opposed to the lack. As cliche as it sounds, you need a little rain to see a rainbow.