My boyfriend, Matthew, and I have been dating nearly two-and-a-half years. Throughout that time, about half of our relationship has been long-distance. We met while attending Texas State University in San Marcos, but he lives in New Braunfels and I live in Arlington. These cities are four hours away from each other. Anytime I mention that I'm in a long-distance relationship, people ask me how or why I do it.
The first time we experienced long distance was after five months of dating. We met in January, 2014, and I went back home for the summer after spring semester. We had already said "I love you" by that point, and we had agreed that we both wanted to see where this would go. Soon enough, we became champs at long distance! The three months flew by with our crazy schedules, and we stayed committed to our goal of visiting at least twice a month.
My junior year, I decided to transfer to the University of Texas at Arlington, mainly because I was feeling homesick. Matthew and I discussed how long distance could work for longer than three months and again made the decision to try to make it work. It's been a year so far, and we've succeeded.
For people who are considering long distance, I have some advice for you. For starters, if you are not with someone you could potentially see yourself marrying, don't do it. Long-distance is challenging and it's not fun. You go weeks without seeing the person who makes you smile most. If you don't see a future, don't put yourself through the hard struggles.
Second, communication is key. Having communication skills is mandatory for any relationship, but for long distance relationships, it's sometimes the only thing that keeps you going. It is not enough just to text every minute of every day. Texting doesn't allow you to see facial expressions or feel a warm embrace. Without those, think about how simple texts could be completely misread. Pick up the phone and call each other! Hearing that laugh after recalling memories or hearing the desperation in their voice to see you sooner than a week. That is what gives us the emotion behind the words to fill the romance. Besides using the phone, send letters. Take the opportunity to go old school! The act of taking the time to hand-write a letter with all of your thoughts shows commitment.
When you see each other, be with each other. Put the phones away and focus on doing everything you couldn't while you were apart. Tell each other the long work stories or fill each other in on the gossip you missed. If you want to go the extra mile, buy her flowers to show her you missed her. Or deliver a letter in person saying how much you missed him.
There is a famous "Star Wars" saying: "Do. Or do not. There is no try."
This quote perfectly sums up a long-distance relationship. If you want to be with someone, be with them. Be committed. Make an effort. You have to be all in in order for it to work.
That being said, if you succeed, nothing will be harder in life than doing long distance. The strength and trust you build while traveling for love will be the building blocks you fall back on during rough times.
Love will travel.
