I want to write something simple and complex about love; what it is and what it isn't. Luckily I'm not afraid to be cliche.
Love is unquestionable. Love is inviting and warm and wants to stay. Love doesn't allow you to doubt yourself. Love is acceptance, with a subtle voice that tells you to be better than the last time. Love feels good. Love feels AMAZING. Love doesn't make you feel second or third; you are confident in your place. Love fosters growth and doesn't belittle you. Love teaches without a lecture. Love motivates you kindly. Love does not hinder your self assurance. Love makes you look forward to tomorrow. Love endures the adventure you bring. Love doesn't attempt to compensate for your losses; love reminds you that nothing is perfect — not even love. Love accepts the mistakes you make, with hope you learn from your mistakes, of course. Love doesn't penalize your past, instead love is grateful for your presence. Love doesn't make you change your mind. You are confident in telling love your reasoning, and love listens to you. Love can disagree without an argument. When love does argue, be careful to listen; love doesn't argue to defeat you. Love is invested in your best interests.
I met two freshman girls last week that are in long distance relationships. Neither of them appeared to be overtly insecure or unsure of themselves, but when they were talking about their boyfriends, they were not very convincing. It's like they were with them because yeah, they were nice guys and all, but they didn't feel attached. They felt like "something was missing." I want to take the time to say that if you feel the absence of anything in your relationship, take the time to talk to your significant other about it; if your feelings are being brushed off, that's a sign that you need to respect your lifeenough to change what's happening. I've spent a lot of time feeling uncertain on one guy, and the result was a lot of time wasted on feeling like things were my fault because I wasn't happy. As it turns out, it doesn't have to be anyone's fault. Time changes, and you just were not meant to be together. It's okay to break free from even the nicest person in the world. That doesn't mean you won't find another nice guy, it just won't be that guy. And that's okay. But if you ever feel that something isn't right, do something about it! It doesn't have to be about the ending. Adjust your attitude and think, "Okay, I'm ready to begin something different and new."
You don't have to worry about what other people with think about you. Because, excuse my language, but do you really give a f***? Wouldn't you rather be happy rather than continue to lie to yourself? Of course! It's okay to break up with someone. You enter a relationship to experience it's potential. As soon as you feel the potential escaping you, no matter how attached you are to their family and vice versa — it's okay to want to be at peace with yourself. It will hurt to see them go, but you'll be at ease when you can reflect on what made you leave that behind.
So if my examples of "what love is and what isn't" stained your brain in some way, I wish you the best of luck. But I want you to know I experienced both sides of what love is and what it isn't, and it's much better to be alone than to experience "what love isn't." Because I was able to identify what love isn't, I am able to recognize a man who shows me what love is. #BeLove
