Growing up love is a constant icon, belief, and idea that really everyone recognizes. From the very first moment you realize that your parents love you and mean it, to your crush saying that he likes you a lot (and in your head you think he loves you), love is a beautiful thing. For me and my sister it has altered as we grew up and our meaning of love is different from what we thought it was when we were kids. I've asked myself, my twin, two older sisters, and mother about what they thought about love throughout their lives.
What is elementary love to you?
Me: Elementary love for me means being carefree and loving something entirely. I had these awesome crayons that I absolutely loved and cherished, that is totally the best feeling.
Hina: I feel like it's carefree crushing, I just felt like one week you could be like he's the one, the next week be like nope he's the one then after that you're like I must focus on my tether-ball career.
Chelsea: It's puppy love, more so crush than love. where you punch the people you like, I will call this punching-like.
Shao: Puppy love, elementary love is the foundation and platform for what and how love will be perceived throughout your life. It starts off with the simple feelings of butterflies while playing on the monkey bars, the punching and slapping of the one you have a fancy for. Then it leads to the the feeling of liking or being liked by the most popular person in school and the innocence of that smile from across the play ground. Puppy love is innocent, its pure, its real and raw. You like them, they like you. Done, time for recess!
Mom: It meant crushes and passing love notes, telling your friend to tell his friend that you thought he was cute. It was innocent.
When did elementary love seem real?
Twins: Valentines day!
Me: People got married on Valentine's day, I've attended a few. We had the ceremony under the "rock", which was a huge rock to climb that connected to our jungle gym, they said their vows and we threw wood chips mimicking rice, they would kiss and we all squealed and ran away. During class they were totally a thing and we all we're like "ooh marriage life is tough, he can't hang out with us at recess, poor guy."
Hina: Yeah! And I'd be like, "Now we don't have a lava monster, his wife is a monster!" You know it's true love when you get an extra lollipop or different candy from everyone else. I vaguely remember the stress of picking out cards for people, because I didn't want to send a strong message to him, but then he didn't even notice and took the candy, now that I think about it, that was so rude, read the card d*mmit!
Chelsea: It didn't.
Mom: It didn't, it never did, it was about sharing secret with your best friends.
What is middle school love to you?
Me: Middle school love was so awkward, just a bunch of almost, hormonal, teenagers who thought love was everything, that dating was totally necessary, plot twist, it isn't. It's a stage where we all kind of realize we're getting old, and we're like oh man, am I going to die alone!
Hina: It's when a guy comes and waits for you by your locker and you twirl your hair while he talks to you about things and when he carries your books to class. That was so awkward which is why I was always like "Stop! I am a girl capable of doing it myself!" That mentality totally followed me through high-school.
Chelsea: Still not exactly love but a lot more drama, more PDA definitely and group dates.
Shao: It didn't count. because it's still a mix of elementary and high school.
Mom: It was going to his game but saying you were there to support your brother, making the team brownies when really it was for him. It's when your brother stops hanging out with him because he knows.
When did middle school love seem real?
Chelsea: After the break up, because then you're like "Oh my god, I miss him, we need to get back together."
Hina: It wasn't real because, some stupid boy couldn't tell the difference between my twin and I, you're an idiot.
Me: Yeah, I definitely didn't have a time when I thought it was real just a lot of people breaking up before high-school.
Mom: It's when you have your first break up and you start listening to those sappy songs and just cry.
What does high-school love mean to you?
Chelsea: It's the beginning stages of adulthood there is a lot more pressure because of the relationships and school having to figure out graduation. Image is viewed highly but in reality high school love is not real love either, besides those high-school sweethearts.
Mom: High-school love is falling in and out of love constantly, or what you think is falling in and out of it. You come with a boyfriend code, that's when you find out who your friends with.
Shao: High school love gets complicated. You feel all kinds of different things and experience many different emotions. You realize that the popular person is not quite the one you have your eye on. The one constant in your life journey of love is the butterflies you get. High school love prepares you for the heart aches and pain that accompany love in general. You fall in love and think all is a.o.k. and then boom!...it's over! However in the midst of all the pain and tears and hurt, you learn how to look through all that and find that true love...that diamond in the rough...that needle in the haystack!
What does Adult love mean to you? When does It feel real?
Shao: Adult love...its supposed to be the final love...it's supposed to be "the end" love...no more looking for love after. But that's not always the case, adult love is where you learn about compromising, sacrificing, and realizing what really matters in life. Adult love, is when you find it, it is when you wake up in the morning and realize that your life is exactly the way its supposed to be, it's the source of all the right feelings and emotions.
Mom: It means finding your partner you want to grow old with. it's realizing that the person you were with for 20 years of being together is that one. it becomes real when after all those years you finally exchange those vows. True love is seeing that smile across the room and knowing t's for you. That you know he's behind you when you don't have to turn around to know it. That's love.
Chels: College love is more free you experiment and find out what love is. After college is when things get real. When their are promises and you get engaged and have kids. Love changes, there is protective love, the I hate you love, and I want to rip off your face love, but remember all of this is with love.
As you can see we all have different views of love through the ages but nonetheless love is real and clearly expressed throughout my family.
