Love.

Love has become a totally misunderstood concept by my generation and those above and below. People confuse love with lust more often than not. With social media and other platforms, trends have become more rapid and more abundant as the years go by. Love seems to be one of them.

Here’s what I have noticed in the past three or four years:

Children think love is a fairytale. It’s talking animals, singing birds, dancing mice, endless laughter and magical kisses. It’s meeting princesses and falling in love at first sight. Children think love is always a happy ending. That the good guy and the good girl always end up together. They see love as fun and glorious, no pain or heartache involved. Children see love as a fairy tale. I believe they’re wrong.

Teenagers think love is not being able to bear the thought of their crush being with someone else. It’s someone who shares the same interests. If I’m an athlete and you’re an athlete, we’re supposed to be together. They get lost in stereotypes and romantic comedies. Teenagers think love only exists when your crush texts you every day and holds your hand when you walk through the halls. They believe that after one month of being in a relationship, it’s expected to love each other and express those feelings. I believe they’re wrong.

College students think love is when you see a “baddie” at a club and you get those digits. They see love in a shallow pool. They think it’s all about appearance. If the homies don’t approve, then why even bother? Expectations are unreachably high. Girls want an athlete who’s tall, handsome, and fit. Guys want a girl who has curves, a cute face, and knows how to dance. Love in college is more about who’s down to get down, and if the getting down is good, you must have found love. It’s all about who’s going to rock your world. I believe they’re wrong.

Adults see love as a time limit. They reach a certain age and fear being alone. They believe that if they haven’t found it yet, the love clock is going to run out and they’ll have to spend the rest of their life drinking away their loneliness. It’s the fear that drives them to “love”. They settle down with the next person they develop an interest in and agree to live together for the rest of their lives. They want families so badly that they condition themselves to “love” one another. A lot of times, the kids will grow up and move out, and the love that the two adults thought that they had for each other is gone. They can’t stand being around one another and their hearts yearn for something else. Something real perhaps. Adults think of love as an opportunity in which they’re so afraid to miss out on, that they do whatever they can to “fall in love.” I believe they’re wrong.

I see love as a connection. I see it as having a complete stranger walk into your life and you learn to love them almost instantly. I think love is meeting someone at a point in your life when you’re not sure if things will ever start looking up. Love is when you find trust in someone you know nothing about, but having no fear of sharing each and every little detail about your life with. Love is putting your faith in someone because you literally could not imagine your life with them. Love is finding ways to talk about things that haunt your conscious, and somehow they are the only people who could possibly understand. Love is being with someone and forgetting all the worries on your shoulders. Love is finding someone who takes that giant weight off of your chest so that you can finally fill your lungs with air. I think love is being with someone you invest all of your deepest feelings into. I believe I am wrong.

The thing about love is that it’s painful. It’s confusing. It sucks. People lie and cheat. They say one thing but turn around and do another. Feelings get deeper, secrets are spilled, hearts become broken. There have been those who have felt pain so strong, they knew nothing to take the pain away but to take their own life away instead. Sometimes love can be more intimidating and frightening than your worst nightmare. Love can be so ugly.

But it’s also wonderful. One of the greatest feelings a person could ever experience. So to believe in love, and allow oneself to be open to such a feeling, that takes a lot of courage. I realize that the descriptions I mentioned previously don’t apply to all children, all teenagers, all college students, nor all adults. I’m sure a lot of you had defensive thoughts in the back of your mind while reading this. The point was, I think love can be misunderstood. In fact, I think love is a concept that can be entirely misinterpreted until you actually feel the feeling. Because just like there’s a possibility that love doesn’t actually exist, there’s an equal possibility that love does exist.

It’s possible that if love exists, then love can be a fairy tale. Love can be wonderful and fun and full of laughter. Love could also be missing someone so much, you feel the need to talk to them at all times of the day. It’s possible that love can be about chemistry. Having someone you’re comfortable being intimate with is important. Love could also arise at a certain time – when you’re ready to settle down and have a family. It could be about being willing to share the rest of your life with someone and make something incredible with. And maybe love is a connection. Maybe it’s possible to fall in love with someone you hardly know because the feelings just seem right. Who knows?

Love is a mixture of every emotion. It’s a stew. Whether one finds themselves in a situation where they are given the opportunity to have a taste is entirely up to fate. Either way, I believe that people are put into your life and taken out of your life for a reason. So through the heart throbs and the heart breaks, it’s important to remember to love yourself before anyone else. Don’t expect a fairytale if you can’t see yourself as a princess or a warrior.