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Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin

The Church and the LGBT community

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Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin
STACKS magazine

I've grown up hearing the phrase, "love the sinner, hate the sin." If you aren't aware, this is a phrase commonly used by the Church when referring to members of the LGBT community. In theory, I guess you could say that it makes sense. While you shouldn't hate people who identify as LGBT, you should hate the fact that they choose to be LGBT. Ohhh my god... I apologize in advance for the rant I'm about to go on. Actually, I'm not sorry. It needs to be said.

The idea that you should love someone who you believe is behaving in a way that is morally wrong doesn't work most of the time. When thinking about it in terms of one-on-one relationships, it has a greater likelihood of making sense. A mother, for example, who is anti-LGBT can still love her son despite not accepting that he is gay (some may argue that this is actually not possible, but for the sake of the argument, let's say that it is). If this is true, "love the sinner, hate the sin" allows for individuals to continue to love people that they loved before "the sin." What the concept doesn't do is allow for the acceptance of an entire community.

I've watched a pastor stand in front of a congregation of hundreds of people and say that it was ok that gay marriage had been legalized, but that it was a serious threat to the structure of the family. I've heard a Sunday school teacher say that we should love our gay friends and family, but "God did say there would be a punishment and AIDS happens to be more prevalent among gays." I've sat while 500 people stood and prayed in support of the Church's decision to continue to stand against gay marriage. I've seen people shout "amen" when a pastor described crashing the wedding of two men only to judge and ridicule them. I've sat at my dining room table and cried, unable to understand how hundreds of people can think and treat other human beings this way.

If "love the sinner, hate the sin" is something you say, you are wrong. It blows my mind that ANYONE thinks it is ok to say this phrase. All this phrase allows you to do is hide your hatred, fear, disgust, and ignorance under a layer of fake love. If you want to be anti-LGBT, own up to it. Stand up and announce your hatred to the world, so those of us who know the truth can show you what you fail to see. But don't pretend that the way you think and act stems from a place of love and care. It doesn't.

Many will say that they are allowed to have their opinions; yet, while children are still being kicked out of their homes for being queer, church leaders are teaching young kids that being gay is wrong, and 50 people are being shot in a nightclub for being gay (and people are failing to even acknowledge that the shooting was an attack on the LGBT community), your opinion is toxic, dangerous, and harmful and I will continue to stand against it. I will never understand why people still believe that being gay is a choice. If you believe that God makes us the way we are, why is it so difficult to believe that he could create people who are LGBT? And if that's the case, how can that be a sin?

One of my favorite Youtubers, Tyler Oakley, sums up my hopes on this issue in one clear and concise tweet: "I can't wait to someday tell my kids about the fight for gay rights. It'll sound as absurd to them as racial segregation sounds to me."


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