That may seem like a super bold statement. But it’s true. Love is not a feeling. It’s an action.

“I love you” is a very commonplace phrase now. Even people who are sincerely in love with the person toss it around. And we’ve all done it. Hanging up the phone with an, “I love you. Goodbye,” without even thinking twice about the power of those words.

Now, yes, we may mean it sincerely. Oftentimes, we are saying to a family member or a close friend, and we do love them. But while our words may say that, do our actions also show that?

What is love?

A mother sitting up all night to care for her sick child, that’s love. Mother Teresa’s mission work in Calcutta, that’s love. A couple who loses a child, but continues to stand by each other, that’s love. Helping someone in need, that is love. A person who is hurt by a loved one, but forgives them, that’s love. It’s Love itself, looking down from the cross, and forgiving His persecutors.

Love is not a fuzzy feeling. It’s not a box of chocolate. It’s not Valentine’s day. Love is hard. Love is painful.

Sometimes, love means forgiving someone who has hurt us. It’s sacrificing what we want to do for what they want to do. It’s loving them enough to let them go.

Saying “I love you,” is not meant to be used in such a flippant manner. Love like that is hurtful and unhealthy. Loving someone means you are putting them before yourself. And they need to see that. Saying “I love you,” is important, but it’s more important that the actions in your life are mirroring these words.

Love is not a feeling that comes upon you all of the sudden. But it’s something that grows little by little. It’s often said that couples who have been married 30 years love each other more than a newly married couple, because they have been through so much with each other, and they have both been tested. But, instead of turning away and giving up on each other, they chose love.

Love is something you choose, something that grows, something that comes over time. We don’t discover love overnight. It is something we experience through the actions and influences of others.

Oftentimes, love comes easily. We experience it around those who we cherish and look up to. But other times, we have to will it. We have to really try hard to bring ourselves to those actions that require love, such as forgiveness and trust, and letting go.

Love requires sacrifice. Love is more than just words. Love is an action.

So, next time you say the words, “I love you,” take a moment to consider the power of those words.