Every time I look in the mirror and smile, the first thing I notice is my teeth. They are not terribly crooked, but they are not straight. Arguably, I should have had braces back in middle school, but I never did. I used to be insecure about my teeth. I tried to smile with my mouth closed, or even not smile at all.

Maybe, I should have had braces. But, I have a pretty good reason for why I never got them. Braces are expensive. They cost a lot to put on, and require many pricey orthodontist appointments that my parents couldn’t afford. Growing up, my family never had much money. There are five kids in my family, so there were seven people total to provide for. My dad has his own small construction business, and has been in construction for as long as I can remember. My mom was a stay-at-home mom most of my life, and didn’t start working full time until I was in high school. So, we lived off my dad’s income. As a kid, I never thought of us as “poor” or as not having much. My mom always cooked meals and every night we sat around the table, said a prayer, and ate good food. My belly was always full, I had a glass of milk every night, a warm bed to sleep in, plenty of clothes to wear (mostly hand-me-downs, but I didn’t care because I liked getting my older sister’s clothes), a ride to school every day, and presents under the tree on Christmas. My parents provided me with everything I needed, and if I wanted something, I saved up my birthday or Christmas money and bought it myself. I was happy. I never questioned my family’s monetary status until I was older.

In fourth grade, I started hanging out with a new group of girls at school, a group I continued to hang out with for the rest of elementary school. All their clothes said “Abercrombie & Fitch”, they had new Nike tennis shoes, they got fruit roll ups in their lunchbox, they got highlights in their hair, and they got braces when their teeth were crooked. I was still wearing my sister’s hand-me-downs, I wore the same old Nikes every day, I had a lunchbox full of last night’s leftovers, stringy blonde hair, and crooked teeth. Anything they wanted, their parents gave them. I began noticing my appearance, and became insecure about my family not having as much money as their families. I was embarrassed of my clothes, hair, possessions, and mostly, my teeth. I was jealous of these girls who got everything they wanted.

When I got to middle school, I lost touch with all those girls, but the feelings of insecurity stuck. I spent all my money on clothes that I thought would make me more popular, but when I looked down at my feet, I was still the girl that wore the same old dirty tennis shoes every day. When I looked in the mirror and smiled, I was still the girl who couldn’t afford braces. These feelings stayed with me throughout high school, although they became less intense when I found a group of friends with similar backgrounds to me, but I never got the braces I thought I needed.

Now that I’m in college, I’ve had my own jobs, make my own money, and pay for my own stuff. I can’t thank my parents enough for what they taught me about money. The best thing my parents ever did for me was not buying me everything I wanted. Saving my own money and buying things for myself taught me invaluable lessons about how to be smart with money and to be sure I really want something before I buy it. It taught me to not be materialistic. I’m a stronger person for having grown up the way I did. I learned to work hard for what I have and appreciate everything. So, maybe I don’t have Hunter rain boots, a Kate Spade hand bag, or the newest iPhone, but I got something better. Instead, I have good money management skills and pride and appreciation for the things I’ve worked for. I owe that all to my parents, so Mom, if you are reading this, thank you, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel bad in 2007 when I didn’t have new Hollister clothes.

So, when I look in the mirror now, I smile proudly when I look at my teeth. Having braces would have been purely cosmetic. My crooked front teeth are quirky, and they remind me that I may not get everything I want, but I’ll always have everything I need. They remind me of that girl I used to be, who hated her teeth and cried because she didn’t look “perfect” like her friends. They remind me that I’m stronger for it. And best of all, they look just like my mom’s crooked teeth (I guess it runs in the family), and when I smile, I think of her, and how she always knows what’s best for me, even when I don’t. How she always made sure I had the things I really needed, even when I had a skewed idea of what those things were. She was looking out for me, and by not showering me with gifts, she gave me an even better gift; she taught me to value what truly matters, things that aren’t possessions, but life lessons.