I was going to write a response to a recent article that was written in discontent with feminism in America. It was probably going to be mean. Ok, it was definitely going to be mean.

But then, I remembered, I am a feminist. And I do not tear down other women for my own gain.

Feminism is the idea that genders are equal. I don’t know why it gets so misconstrued. Ok, I do know. It’s because if you roam around dark, weird corners of the internet for long enough, you will find some serious man-hating poorly masked as “feminism,” and the rest of us pay the penalty. But it’s like when someone from your high school or your church or your friend group says something completely disgusting or bigoted and you just wanna stand behind them and mouth “We aren’t all like that.”

I am trying to do the best I can here. I try to actively build women up instead of tearing them down, hoping to see women succeed. And as much as some people pretend like everything is fine and dandy, there are problems. It’s not as simple as “who’s gonna hold the door open.” It’s pay inequality, education inequality, improper access to health care, and unbelievable rates of sexual assault and domestic abuse against women in the United States and countries all over the world. That’s what you mean to me, Feminism.

And you aren’t for women. Feminism is about men, too. Not about bringing them down, but about lifting them up. Men suffer. It’s different, but it’s there. If I can encourage a man to express his feelings without fear of being judged, I will. If I can take some of the financial burden off of a man by offering to pay for a date every once and a while, I will.

I’m sorry you got a hard break, Feminism. I’m sorry some people seem to think you’re ruining their lives when you are making me and so many other men and women so much better. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t so compassionate or aware about worldly issues transcending gender, nationality, location. So I thank you for what you’ve given me.

I’m not angry, but for some reason, I’m scared. I don’t get it either. People feel so comfortable expressing hate against feminism or women, so why am I so afraid to let people know my love for feminism, for men, for women? I know equality can feel scary, but as someone (who no one can seem to name) once said, “When you are accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.” But when it comes down to it, lifting one group up, lifts everybody up.

So that’s it. I’m a feminist, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry if you don’t know what that means, but I’m not sorry for what I believe.