Oh, Amazon. Sweet, sweet Amazon. You have been there for me through the good times and the bad. You've never let me down—you've only picked me up when I needed saving. So, here's to you, Amazon. Seven reasons why you're such a stand-up guy:
1. You always deliver.
Oh, Amazon, you never come up short. When you make a promise, you keep it. And sometimes, you even get all spontaneous and surprise me with an early delivery! You're just so romantic :')
2. You send an apology text when you can't make it on time.
I hate guys who ditch and never tell me why. But not you, Amazon. If something comes up in your schedule, you always reassure me that you'll make it up to me soon <3
3. You always let me be right, even when I'm wrong.
Sometimes I can forget that we've made a date to meet at the mailbox—silly me! But, you always take my tantrums with stride in the online chat. Thanks, Amazon!
4. You know how to make a girl feel special.
Once you learn what I like, you never forget it. In fact, you offer up new things for me to buy all the time, and I never feel let down.
5. You're always at the ready when I'm feeling down.
Somehow, you just always know when I'm not feeling well! You always show up with movies and special gift baskets—you even leave them at my door when I'm not in the mood to hang out. Ugh, we're just so in tune.
6. You never make me feel bad about shopping too much.
In fact, you encourage it! No one has ever done that for me :')
7. You fight for me.
When other f—boys try to woo me with less expensive gifts, you always defend your honor as the one with the best value. Other people don't even stand a chance against you, Amazon! You're simply the best, thank you for being the real MVP.
XOXO,
Your devoted shopper <3
