Growing up, our primary role models for love and relationships are from those who raise us. We see it all firsthand, from when we're babies crying for attention, to when we're adults in our own relationships. While we may not want to believe it, we pick up a lot of habits from those we spend time with, both good and bad.
If I had to be honest, my parent's marriage wasn't the best. And while I can admit this, this in no way means that they were bad parents. They loved me, they provided me with everything I needed, and they were great role models with an amazing work ethic. That being said, I can remember late nights where they screamed and yelled at each other when they thought I was asleep in bed. I can remember my dad angrily driving away from our home to avoid spending time with my mom. I can remember my mom forcing issues that, looking back, seem so irrelevant.
And while I may hold bad memories of my parents together, I don't regret it one bit. Because without them, I wouldn't view relationships the way I do and these lessons wouldn't mean as much to me.
Money isn't everything.
I'm sure many couples fight over money. In fact, issues revolving money are often quoted as top reasons for not only tension in a relationship, but also for divorce. While money is an important factor, it does not mean more than your family. There are ways to work past issues revolving around money, but it means taking the time to work together and overcome your struggles.
Communication is key.
It's important to not let issues fester. If you have a problem with your significant other, let it all out. My parents were the definition of passive-aggressive, and I know a large part of that is why I am often passive-aggressive, but I'm learning. As I've grown, and continue to grow, in my own relationship, I've learned to start sharing my feelings, no matter how trivial it may seem. Also, be considerate. Let your partner know what's going on. For example, if you're going to be home late, just shoot them a text!
Don't act when you're angry.
No relationship is perfect. Every couple fights, whether it be often or sparingly. However, in moments of rage, don't do something you will regret. Take a couple of hours to yourself. Sleep on it. I guarantee that you will see things in a different light once you've given it some time.
Never, ever take the other person for granted.
Relationships are a partnership. You both do things for each other. Try to show your partner how you feel, how grateful you are for them, how much you love them... It can be as simple as a date night, buying them flyers, or leaving a hand-written note!
Always make time for each other.
Life is chaotic, I know. It gets hard to maintain control of a hectic schedule, especially when you may have so much going on, but if you truly want a long-lasting relationship, it's important to make time for each other. Try to block out some time for each other, perhaps date-night once a week. Watch a movie together and snuggle in bed. Your routines shouldn't be about waking up, going to work, eating dinner, and then going to bed!
