“What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more”. Oh sorry, force of habit. But seriously, what is love?

I grew up with fairy tales, love stories and romantic comedies, and I loved them all and still do to this day! It’s such a thrill feeling like you are in the character’s shoes, being able to feel how they feel, see what they can see, and most importantly have the relationships they have. I always dreamt of having my Prince Charming come along, sweep me off my feet and live happily ever after. The thing is, I do want that, but I just don’t see anyone actually doing this, even if it’s not to this extent. I don’t see myself actually marrying Prince Charming, and getting what I think as a perfect life.

I’m not really sure why I think this, but it could have something to do with how I don’t understand what love is, or what it feels like. For example, in any romantic movie, such as A Cinderella Story with Hillary Duff, she just knows he’s the one, because she can feel it, and he makes her feel like a princess. But that’s not real to me.

Or it could have something to do with that I always think there is bigger or better out there. So I guess I just get scared that I’m going to get “stuck”, or I’m going to get hurt. I just get scared, so I don’t take leaps of faith to go out with someone, and when I do I realize that I get attached, I run away. Or I try to push that person away so they want out, but they never do. Which isn’t a bad thing, but to me, it’s just scary to think about.

I don’t understand what love is because I’ve never felt it. But to me, it should be explainable, I shouldn’t be frustrated when thinking about it, or trying to understand it. I shouldn’t get mad when people say “you’ll just know”. I just think, “no I won’t, not if I don’t know what it feels like!” I just don’t understand it. I don’t understand how girls, such as Allie in

The Notebook, or Lucy in 50 First Dates, or a better known one Fiona in Shrek, can “just know” that this person is the right one for. To me that’s just not how it works, love at first sight is not real.