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Love Is Fake. Pass It On.

7 reasons love doesn't matter

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Love Is Fake. Pass It On.
matinghabitsofthemoderngeek.com

Okay, maybe fake isn't the right word, but I'm definitely on to something here. Everyone's getting pumped for Valentine's Day, but all this love stuff seems suspicious to me. I decided to do a little research and find out what it's really about, so check out the reasons I think love is fake.

1. 43% of Americans over 18 are single.

Single being defined as "never been married, are divorced, or are widowed." That means that almost half of us aren't committed or in "love", so it's silly to be sad about not being in a relationship right now. Only 57% of us are married and that isn't even a high number; it's like getting an F- on a test. Marriage is a social construct and there's really no reason to do paperwork and pay all that money just to say you love someone. That being said...

2. Engagement rings are totally ripping us off.


The De Beers Group of Companies ran an ad campaign in the 1930s that tricked everyone into thinking a long lasting rock held some relevance to a man's ability to show love. Sounds ridiculous, yes, but almost 100 years later it's still considered the norm. Don't get me wrong: I can appreciate good jewelry, but it's absurd to spend that kind of money on something that's perfectly useless. Maybe it's just me, but I'd take a vacation and memories that'll last forever over a ring any day.

If you want to learn more about this, check out the CollegeHumor video "Why Engagement Rings Are a Scam-Adam Ruins Everything." WARNING: this video contains adult content and language.

3. The whole engagement thing is kinda creepy anyway.

After dating for a while, a guy (typically) kneels in front of his partner and offers an expensive rock to keep on their hand for all of the foreseeable future...and that's supposed to be normal? I mean, it's sweet but feels like a small bribe or something.

Does that mean he's buying a ring that will last forever or is he trying to purchase a wife with no chance for escape? Hmm seems pretty sketchy to me.

4. There's a "love hormone" that can be purchased for $6.99.

Well kinda. I'm talking about the hormone oxytocin, which is often associated with making people want to cuddle and love and things like that, but also plays a role in breastfeeding and inducing labor. It seems odd to think of our feelings as waxing and waning levels of hormones, but that's pretty much just how our brains work. Get yours today for $7! [Just kidding it's only available by prescription for pregnant or nursing women. It doesn't do anything fun.]

5. Wedding ceremonies are a scam too.


Sorry to be such a party pooper; I like weddings as much as the next person, but they're ridiculous. There's no reason a couple and their families should (on average) spend $26,444 to pronounce their love and dance around for a couple hours. Not to mention the dresses! I love a good wedding dress, but why do they have to cost so much?? To make it worse, there are designer shops that televise the visits just so they can charge more (I'm looking at you, Say Yes to the Dress). I don't know why it's so entertaining to see a lady's most disagreeable friends and relatives sit around and watch her try on dresses until she cries, but it is. Weird stuff.

6. They say 50% of marriages end in divorce.

And they are wrong. Divorce rates have been slowly declining for the past 15 years, but it's still a pretty big number. I'm offended that every movie I watched growing up told me we would all get a happily ever after - well, besides the bad guys. Sorry kids, prepare to have your dreams crushed because life isn't fair and love isn't going to fix all your problems.

7. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone broke up.

Ah, look how cute and in love they were! You could even see the chemistry on-screen during the Amazing Spiderman movies. Or so I thought. Sadly, after four years of dating, they broke up last October, and I'm still recovering. If that wasn't real nothing is.

In all seriousness though, whether or not love is fake you should enjoy it. Your relationship status doesn't define you, and you don't have to be in one to show you care about someone. Just have fun, and try not to worry about any of that mushy stuff. Happy Valentine's Day!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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