I was recently assigned to an essay prompt that truly conflicted me. My communications professor asked us to firmly stand on one side or another, in order to show whether we believed love was a choice or solely an emotion. Needless to say, I felt stuck. I felt like I couldn’t bring myself to argue for either side in an effective matter, as I felt there were truths to both sides. On one hand, I can’t help but consider myself a complete hopeless romantic. I find that instances of fate, soul mates, and all the mushy stuff that goes along with it, to be endearing. I love chick flicks with romantic, corny plots and I’d love to believe in the idea that two people can belong together just because that’s how it should be.

As a hopeless romantic, I would take comfort in knowing that my boyfriend and I are going to live happily ever after simply because we belong together. But when writing this essay, I came to terms that the world and relationships aren’t as fluffy as I’d like them to be. Untimely, as a writer, I have learned to argue for whatever is the easiest, even if you don’t necessarily agree with it. If you find yourself having more reasons to justify that answer, it is the stance you should take because logically, it makes the most sense. In this case, however, I found that through my research, love as a choice was the raw, realistic answer I had to accept. Attraction is instinctual. As human beings, we cannot help who we are attracted to.

The act of falling in love, however, is another story.

Essentially, we decide who we want to pursue, we choose to invest our time into them, we choose to pursue our desire to get to know them and we take the necessary steps for love (even if we may not realize it). Happy relationships don’t just happen. They take hard work, a mutual understanding from both sides, and a willingness to accept our significant others, despite their flaws. From my own experience, I have learned that love only deteriorates if we let it, and it radiates when we nourish it. Once we begin to accept that we do have a say in who we love, how, and when, society can begin to cultivate healthier relationships and happier individuals as a result of it.