Netflix’s new series She’s Gotta Have It follows the story of a polyamerous pansexual artist, Nola Darling as she simultaneously dates four people. The show is an amazing look at female sexuality and sexual relationships. The show addresses issues of slut-shaming sexually active women, catcalling, female empowerment, as well as race.

As amazed and in-love with this series as I am, the series has also given me a look at what I would want in a romantic partner. Literally, everyone Nola Darling has been romantically involved with up to this season, are people that I know for a fact that I would never want to date in my life. Let’s take a look at all of Nola Darling’s potential suitors and see why they would make terrible partners.

1. Jamie Overstreet

Jamie is described in the show as “Grown AF”. He has a stable job, responsibilities, and also a wife and kid. Yep, that’s right! He already has a wife and kid! In the beginning of the show, he and his wife are separated but still live in the same house. He even tries to get back together with her as he is also seeing Nola.

Here is why I can never date a Jamie Overstreet. Besides the whole wife and child thing, he is also very possessive of Nola and is perpetually jealous of her other sexual partners. He has said on multiple occasions that she shouldn’t be with so many people and even being embarrassed when he brings Nola anywhere in public. I’m sorry, but if any man tells me I can’t act or look a certain way, he is getting punched in the throat and I’m deleting his number.

2. Greer Childs

The best way I can explain Greer is that he’s the douchey guy that you still go after because he’s super good-looking and has some redeeming qualities. Greer is more in love with himself than he’s in love with Nola. That itself is reason enough to not date Greer Childs.

The reasons why I could never date a Greer Childs is obvious. He is a selfish, self-loving Narcissist who doesn’t seem to care about anyone but himself. He thinks that he is above everyone and anyone, especially Nola. It has to be so exhausting having to fight for the attention of your pattern with himself. That is something I’m not wasting my time on.

3. Mars Blackmon

Mars is that funny kid that no one took seriously in high school. He is goofy, loyal, and understanding. Out of all these men in the show he seems to be my favorite so far. He seems to really care about Nol and understands where she comes from and why she is the way she is. Mars is a true friend and does anything he can to help and support Nola as much as he can.

As much as I like Mars, he is a man-child that doesn’t want to grow up. Him and Jamie are complete opposites in this regard. He doesn’t have a stable job, take anything seriously, and comes off as immature compared to the other men in the show. I personally need someone who I can depend on and makes me feel secure, which are things that Mars seems incapable of doing.

4. Opal Gilstrap

Opal is by far, without a shadow of a doubt, Nola’s best suitor so far. She is beautiful, independent, and caring. She seems like she has it all together, especially since she is a mom and takes care of her daughter pretty much by herself.

So, if Opal is so great, why would I never date and Opal Gilstrap? Well for one, she isn’t very forgiving. She is very ‘if you make one mistake it’s over’ in the show. You can see Nola trying to build something with Opal, and the second Nola messes up Opal dumps her. I’m sorry, but I am a human being and I- like many human beings- make mistakes. I don’t want to have to stress about making a single mistake and having my partner just dump me without any type of discussion. I get that she has a kid to look out for, but you can’t just break all ties with someone over one mistake.

Yes, I get that all of these people are fictional characters and do not actually exist. But every character in ever series, film, book, etc. has fragments of real people and real personality traits. Because these are such strong and dynamic characters I can treat and feel that they are real people.

When it comes to dating, we are trying to find someone we can love, depend on, and trust. We need people that could both fit our needs, and we can fit theirs. I learned that from watching this show and getting to know their characters that I definitely am not comparable with any of Nola Darling’s multiple partners, and I am not 100% convinced she is either, but that is for another article for another day.