How To Love The Girl Who's Been Burned Too Many Times | The Odyssey Online
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How To Love The Girl Who's Been Burned Too Many Times

Do it right, and she'll change your life.

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How To Love The Girl Who's Been Burned Too Many Times
Brooke Meyers

I can tell you right now, it's not going to be easy. More often than not, she's not going to be looking for anything serious if she's looking for anything at all. Likely, the first time she got burned, she had no idea what was about to hit her. She allowed herself to fall, totally and completely, with nothing held back. She believed everything that boy said to her, not knowing well enough to wait to give him her whole heart until he had proved to her that he was worth it. She got burned, bad, and it hurt like hell because it came out of nowhere. Ever since then she's been cautious, giving less and less of herself each time in fear of feeling that same hurt again.

She's gone through the whole process of getting to know someone new, opening up and letting them in a few too many times. And by now she's had to deal with the heartache that comes with getting excited about something new and then getting let down more times than she should have. The hurt is something she understands, it has become the only thing she knows and the first thing she expects. She's resigned herself to that feeling.

So it's safe to say that by now, she's just tired of letting people in who have no intention of sticking around. Temporary people, who waste her time and energy, just to pull her down into the same toxic cycle of mind-games and manipulation, aren't what she wants anymore. She spends wine-laden nights with friends swearing that she'll never open herself up again until she finds the one. You know, the perfect one who she's positive won't subject her to the same heartbreak all the ones before him have.

So you can be sure that she knows exactly what she's looking for. She's spent enough time alone to know the difference between what she thinks she wants and what she needs. She's finally in a good place again, happy on her own and she won't settle for someone unless they're more comforting to her than the independence she's grown to love.

So just know that if you're here to waste her time, if you don't have the best possible intentions, you're better off looking elsewhere because she knows exactly how to see through all the pretty words and sweet nothings. You won't get very far with her if your actions don't line up with your words. She's learned the rules of the game inside and out, and she can play it better than you can.

If you do genuinely care about her and want to try to break down the walls she's built up so high because of the ones that came before you, listen closely. It's hard for her to trust anyone, so don't be frustrated when it takes her a while to truly believe that you mean what you say. Because she's grown so used to the hurt she has this idea that if she just lets them hurt her before things get too serious, she won't have to go through the process of getting her hopes up again just to be let down again. So if she picks fights or pushes you away, push back. Don't just tell her you're different, show her why you're different. Be trustworthy, reliable, steady. Make it clear that you're there to stay, regardless of how stubborn she is. That's really all she's ever wanted.

You're going to have to prove yourself to her. Don't take it personally, but you're fighting against every guy who came before you. And when she finally decides she can trust you, just know she has the warmest heart of anyone you'll ever meet, with an unbelievable amount of love to give. She's been waiting for you for so long, that even though it might scare the hell out of her, she's going to stick with you through the good and the bad. She's dealt with enough Mr. Wrongs to know when to hang onto a good guy, so she'll be loyal and dedicated like you've never seen before.

She'll love you, she'll hate you, she'll frustrate the ever-loving hell out of you most days. It's going to be a drive-you-crazy amazing kind of love, the kind that keeps you up at night wondering just how you got so lucky. Because she's been saving her heart for you, and she's always known that when the right person came along she would forget everything else that came before them and give herself over entirely. She wants nothing more than to be able to finally give someone the love she has and have it be given back the way she knows she deserves. And now that she's finally found you, trust me when I say that loving her will set your world ablaze in the best possible way. Embrace it, and it'll be like nothing you've ever seen before.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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