Ever since I was young, I have always been spitting out random tunes and writing down little snippets of poems or verses anywhere I could. I would write them in notebook upon notebook, on scraps of paper, napkins, really anything I could get my hands on. I was going through my room, cleaning and such, purging old clothes and junk I no longer needed. In the midst of all my cleaning, I found a box of every single notebook I ever started writing songs in.

If I could tell you all the ridiculous love songs I used to write about as an elementary school student, you would laugh your butt off. Most of the stuff I wrote was just little kid crap, but some of it really had meaning to me back then. My heart poured out mainly when my parents got divorced, that was a pretty difficult time for me, as it would be for most. Oh and of course when I had a crush on someone I always had to write a lyric or two about it.

For as long as I can remember, I have always had a song stuck in my head, a certain melody or verse ringing between my ears. I used to write all the time, whenever I could, but now, not so much. I know how to play a few instruments, and it feels like almost a waste if I don't write, or at least play. I have such a love for music, and would never give it up, but sometimes life gets in the way. Which is why when I found that box with all my old song notebooks, nostalgia really took over.

Writing poems and little short stories has always come pretty easily to me, I would just let my imaginative thoughts run wild. But when it came to writing songs, I was never able to get through an entire one. Sometimes I wasn't even able to write an entire verse. Songs I seemed to always write with more emotion than stories, because I was taking them straight out of my life and putting them on paper. I was making them real. With stories, you can make it all fiction, twist the words around and make even the realest of events sound like they're straight from a fairy tale. I've never wanted to do that with songs, which is why it's so much more difficult for me.

But finding that box really brought back how much I loved to write like that, even if it was hard to finish a piece I started. I loved the challenge. I even finished a song last winter, sheet music and everything, which was such a huge accomplishment for me. (If you want to see it, it's not a hit song, or even that amazing, but it's on Youtube):

I've made a pact to myself to keep writing, to break out my guitar or actually sit at the piano and compose. To keep writing and not letting go of my music, even if it's not going to become a career, is my goal of the year. I don't want to stop, and I won't, because music is too important to me.